Your ideas about yourself are changing — and that’s healthy. Some people are lucky enough to know what they want from a very young age, and to have that image of themselves remain unchanged throughout their lives — but honestly, it’s a very small fraction of the population who is like that. Most of us change our ideas about who we are, who we want to be, how we want our lives to proceed, and how we handle the bumps in the road of life that offer up options we never dreamed we would have or never dreamed would be forced upon us. Life happens, and you’re in an internal transition prompted by an outside catalyst — your boyfriend!
You now see the possibility of marriage as real for yourself, and you see yourself as a valuable commodity as a wife. When your boyfriend touts waiting five years, you see this as an insult because you know your worth and you think he should be grateful to have you as a girlfriend, fiance and wife. So, I think that’s why you’re confused about your feeling hurt that his five year waiting period is an insult. Your own internal self is saying, hey, I’m of marrying age, and I’d be a great catch, and if you don’t see it, then you don’t deserve me! 😉
This said, I bet your boyfriend is figuring himself out, too, much in the same way you are. He may be rebelling against his family’s idea that he marry young — which has nothing to do with how he feels about you! I know that’s confusing, but he has to be his own man first before he can be yours, and becoming one’s own man means defining and redefining oneself in the eyes of family, lovers, friends and community. You’re both deciding who you want to be to yourselves, to each other, to your families and communities.
I hope that helps.
