[Dadele2]

I was dating this guy, it was his 1st gf which was noticableby his excitement at the beginning.I had to leave to study abroad at end of summer and I thought we both thought the title would then go away as we hadn’t known each other long enough to do long distance. I spoke to him about this at the end and he agreed. I said I still wanted to keep in contact and see him when I was back.
A week after I left he told me he was upset because he was worried I wanted to get with other guys. And I told him this wasn’t the case. He spoke about coming out to see me and said he was going to think about me regardless.
Then within a week he changed. He started acting cold. Which is odd as he super bubbly and friendly all the time. It’s not in his personality to be like this. He would reply but Seeming off. He snapchatted a video of this girl on a job he had, flirting and giggling and I assumed he was trying to get a reaction from me because he never really snapchats…. I don’t understand why it wouldn’t come to his mind that it would hurt me. Eventually I asked him if he had stopped caring about me and that I needed to know. He just said he liked me but that I was away. I tried calling him a week later after no contact to see if it would be different over the phone. He didn’t pick up. Eventually I said to him he was messing with my head and I couldn’t continue when home with him avoiding having a normal conversation. We didn’t talk for a month.
I messaged him today a sweet text asking how he was, to see if he would be acting normal again, and he replied “hey good. U”

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re 22. He’s 20 and you’ve been together for 3 months — but you’ve been abroad since the end of the summer. The problem here is that he wants to date an in-town person, and you’re investing way too much in someone you don’t know that well and who isn’t interested in a long-distance relationship. 😕

Typically, you should use the first 3 months of a relationship to get to know someone and decide if you want to continue dating them. Assume that you’re both dating others during this time so that you can be sure and not put too much pressure on the relationship. If you want to continue, then use the second three months to decide if you want to be monogamous. Since you’re only at the three month mark, it sounds like he’s not so sure he wants to continue dating you. His feelings are disappointing, but they’re clear. And the fact that you’re abroad and he’s not with you, makes it even more imperative that you hang loose, back off and enjoy what you have with him, when you have it, if you have it — but not to appear clingy, needy or desperate.

I hope that helps.

[Hamna]

Don’t reply to his “hey good. U” at all. When someone ignores you and then responds with such a low-effort response a month later, they are not wasting your time. Leaving them on the scene is the biggest power move.
And AskApril gave the right advice that you shouldn’t be clingy or disheartened, but rather enjoy your life. If they happen to talk, that’s fine; otherwise, you should step back.

[Member]

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