[crazed-driver]

I know its always the case 99% of the time that whenever a guy likes a girl or wants to make a move on them, girls expect them to make the first move or they take it as rejection, etc. Whereas that 1% will either confront the guy on his intentions/feelings and/or make the first move themselves as maybe they are the forward type or they can see the guy is missing the signs, etc. Anyway my point/question was even though I’ve seen you give great advice on here. I’m just a bit confused as you’ve stated on several occasions that the girl shouldn’t make the first move and the guy should if he cared, etc. My question is, Why is it that important for a guy to do it all the time?

[Ask April Masini]

Men love to chase things. It’s in their nature. They love sport. They love competition. They love to win. When women give them something to chase, men are in their element. In addition to which, if they do win over the woman, then they feel like they have won a woman who is WORTH winning. Women who throw themselves at men are basically offering up the booby prize that almost anyone can have. 😕 Wouldn’t you much rather have the trophy than the party favor?

I hope that clears things up for you. 🙂 Join me on Facebook. I’d love to have you there as well as here. This is the link for AskApril.com on Facebook where you can become a free member: [url][/url]. 🙂

[crazed-driver]

That maybe true. But surely if a girl knows a guy likes them and even if the feelings are or aren’t mutual the girl should let the guy know. If they know the guy is too shy, etc. Can’t it, can it? Infact there could be a bonus to it as both sets of people, especially the shy person, will gain a lot of confidance from it.

[Ask April Masini]

Sorry. I don’t agree with you. If a woman likes a man, she knows how to let him know. For ages women have been flirting with men, and men have been getting the picture. Nothing’s changed there. 😆

A shy guy isn’t going to get over his problems with women by not asking them out. He’s going to gain self confidence from doing what he’s afraid of and realizing what a bonus he gets by doing so!

[crazed-driver]

What else is new 😕 😆 I know there are signs, without them being forward, but that can be misunderstood for being friendly or politeness, etc. Plus i believe if a woman likes a man why cant they show it like a guy is expected to. Sorry, but i believe it should be the same, even though it isnt in the real world. And i know we’re not going to agree on this.

I can see what your saying and it is proven right as it comes from personal experiance, And that confidance then not only increases in that area, but in general too. But if it fails it has the opposite affect. Like up to the age of 21 i would say i’ve told 2 people i liked them and i failed. After that i told another and it worked (briefly) and i was on the up, etc. But then in the last year (since that girl) i’ve told about 4 and i failed on them all. Despite “passing” the “critieria”. So you can say, when i get rewards/praise, etc i rise to anything, but after several knocks i cant get myself back up.

[Ask April Masini]

I appreciate your agreeing that what I”m saying is the way things work in the real world, but that you don’t think it [i][b]should[/b][/i] be that way. If you want to win at dating, I hope you’ll accept reality so you can play on the same game board as everyone else. Holding yourself up to standards that are academic won’t lead you to love. 🙁

[crazed-driver]

I know it won’t as it I’ve seen that all around me. So I try to do what you said here, reguardless. I just didn’t get why that’s all. Maybe I will join, here’s a recommendation for your site (Unless you’ve already got it 😕). Why don’t you have a feedback section on your site

[Ask April Masini]

I’m happy to take your feedback for the site any time! 😀

[crazed-driver]

Ok, here’s another suggestion for you, stop being brutal towards the people who work on here 😆 I know this your site, etc. But it would be nice to have more people of your expertise to post regularly on here.

[Ask April Masini]

Thank you for what I think is a back handed compliment! 🙂 I’m glad you like my advice.

[crazed-driver]

It is a compliment. But I think you can be a bit too brutal. Even though its a good thing, sometimes you can go overboard. I also think that if more people shared there experiances, etc. They’ll be less people like me around and the world would be a happier place and by that I mean, people can take their experiances as well as your opinion on board and follow it exactly.

[Ask April Masini]

I know you say I’m “too brutal” but you (especially) keep coming back over and over and over and over again! 😆

[crazed-driver]

Because I can take it. Some people might not be able to though

[Ask April Masini]

Then this isn’t the right site for them.

Thank you for your feedback.

[PassionSeeker]

April’s view isn’t about old fashioned rules it’s about what usually works best. Most men feel excitement and connection when they pursue someone. The effort gives them confidence and makes them value the relationship more.

When a woman does all the chasing, the balance can shift. He may feel less driven, and she may end up feeling underappreciated. That’s why April encourages women to let men make the first move not because women can’t, but because letting him pursue often builds stronger attraction.

Showing interest doesn’t mean doing nothing. A smile, eye contact, or light flirting lets a man know he has a chance, but still gives him space to step up. It’s an invitation, not a chase.

The idea is simple: men pursue, women respond and both feel more fulfilled. It’s not about control; it’s about keeping the natural rhythm that helps relationships grow with mutual respect and desire.

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