[Ethan Morales]

You’re noticing that most of the time, guys are expected to make the first move, while girls are more passive. You’re questioning why this “rule” seems to persist and whether it’s fair or necessary.

She frames it in terms of male psychology: men enjoy the chase and the competition. Successfully “winning” a woman gives them a sense of accomplishment. Women making the first move is likened to giving away something too easily a “booby prize” versus a “trophy.”She emphasizes that flirting and non-verbal cues are the traditional ways women indicate interest. For shy men, taking initiative is framed as a way to build confidence.

Masini’s advice reflects traditional dating dynamics: men as pursuers, women as gatekeepers. The reasoning appeals to psychology men feel validated when they “earn” someone’s interest. However, it’s not absolute. Social norms are changing, and many relationships thrive when women make the first move. It’s more about mutual interest and clear communication than rigid roles. The underlying point: shy men need practice initiating; taking initiative helps them overcome anxiety and builds confidence.

Takeaways It’s not inherently “wrong” for women to make the first move, but Masini is explaining why traditional dynamics have men pursue. Men enjoy the chase because it satisfies psychological drives around competition and reward. Clear communication and mutual interest matter more than who initiates. For shy or inexperienced men, making the first move is a practical confidence-building exercise.

Masini’s advice makes sense from a traditional/psychological perspective, but it’s not a hard rule. The “first move” doesn’t always have to be the man what matters is consent, mutual interest, and comfort. In modern dating, women can absolutely make the first move if they feel confident but giving men the opportunity to initiate is often rewarding for them psychologically, which is why the dynamic persists.

[Marcus king]

Exactly equal rights. Both people should feel free to express interest, make a move, or start the conversation. Relationships work best when effort goes both ways, not when one side is always expected to do everything.

[Isabella Jones]

That’s such a good question, and honestly, I love that you asked it because it shows you think deeper than most people about how connection really works. 💛 You’re right that a lot of people expect guys to make the first move, but I think that’s more of an old habit than a rule of the heart. The idea came from a time when women weren’t encouraged to express what they wanted, so it became “romantic” for men to lead. But times have changed, haven’t they?

I don’t think it’s about who should make the move, but about energy and balance. Sometimes a guy taking initiative feels exciting because it shows confidence and clear interest, but a woman making the first move can be just as powerful—it’s honest and bold. The truth is, real chemistry doesn’t follow traditions; it follows courage.

So maybe the better question is, do you believe the right connection should feel like a chase… or like a meeting halfway?

[Soft Truths]

I don’t think it’s always about the guy having to make the first move, it’s more about energy and intention. When I say the guy should make the move, I’m usually talking about situations where his interest is clear, but he’s hesitating out of fear or ego. If he genuinely cares, he’ll want to show it through action, not just words or hints. That effort helps a woman feel safe and valued, especially in a world where we’re often the ones second guessing whether our feelings are being respected.

That said, I don’t think women should just sit and wait forever either. I’ve made the first move before, it’s not always about pride, it’s about connection. Sometimes you just feel something and you want to see where it goes. What matters most isn’t who takes the first step, but why they’re doing it.

If the move whoever makes it comes from a place of honesty, mutual respect, and genuine interest, it’s the right one. The rest is just tradition and timing.

[Tara]

Oh please. “Equal rights” doesn’t mean equal roles in attraction. It means equal value, not identical behavior. The reason it matters that a man makes the first move is simple: initiative reveals interest. Effort is a filter. If he won’t risk a little rejection, he’s not invested enough to handle a real relationship.

It’s not about gender rules; it’s about energy. Attraction works when polarity exists. Someone leads, someone responds. When both hesitate, nothing happens. When the woman always takes charge, she ends up mothering a man instead of dating one.

Yes, some women make the first move, and it can work. But when it becomes a pattern, she starts setting a precedent she’ll resent later. You can be strong and independent without chasing. Let him show you he’s capable of pursuit.

[Sally]

The idea that the guy always has to make the first move is more about old habits than real rules. It’s not that men should do it every time, it’s just what a lot of people are used to seeing. Some girls wait for the guy because they want to feel wanted or because they’re scared of being rejected.

But truthfully, it goes both ways. If you like someone, there’s nothing wrong with showing it first, no matter your gender. Confidence and honesty are attractive in anyone. Relationships start when two people are brave enough to be real, not when one follows some outdated rule.

[Member]

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