[Anonymous]

Hi,

I have just moved in with my BF of 2 years only 2 months ago. BF runs his own business out of his home. his foreman lives here M-F and goes home on the weekend (He lives in the next state and does not want to commute) This worked out fine when I didn’t live here, but I find I am uncomfortable with it now. When BF goes out of town it is really weird staying here with his worker.

Foreman and BF have been working together 10 years. They do not really socialize outside of work, everything is the best it could be in this situation I suppose, so why do I feel like this? I feel it is not really my house, like there is someone seeing everything I do, and I can’t lounge around half naked and other stuff I used to do when I had my own place.

I was under the impression that when I moved in steps would be taken to get him to go home to his wife and kid during the week, but as I said it has been 2 months and he is right here. I know BF needs this guy to keep his business running, he is his right hand man etc. Still, I thought this would be a happy period for us and I am pretty miserable.

When I tell BF my concerns at first he agreed and said he had talked to foreman. Now it has been a few more weeks, I brought it up again and got the same answer. Last night, BF did not bother to let me know foreman was coming home and foreman just walked into the house, which BF keep saying I am supposed to think of as my house, and scared the crap out of me! I asked BF why he didn’t inform me foreman was coming home; he insists he did. He did not.

Can you give any advice as to what BF is thinking, how I should approach this and am I crazy for feeling this way?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re DEFINITELY not crazy for feelings this way. I’m sure that anyone — male or female — would not like the lack of privacy that comes with having a foreman as a roommate when you were hoping to have a romantic step forward in your relationship with your boyfriend instead.

That said, actions speak louder than words, and your boyfriend clearly doesn’t want to change his 10 year living situation by having the foreman move out, interrupting his work life that pre-dated your moving in two months ago. Knowing that your boyfriend doesn’t want to make this change, I think it’s time for you to move out. Clearly, this was a mistake. This isn’t a good situation for you, and furthermore your boyfriend isn’t ready for a traditional living together situation that you are wanting.

I know this is disappointing, but better to cut your losses now than go along with a living situation that is driving you nuts at best. 🙁

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. And please join me on Facebook. The link for AskApril.com on Facebook is here: [url][/url].

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