[Anonymous]

Well I am 15 and I don’t know if you help younger girls but I hope so.
See I like my best friends brother who is 17, who also happens to be my other best friends ex.
They broke up about a month ago and she still cries and I feel aweful about liking him.
His sister told me not to let that ruin what could be a long time of happiness.
I don’t know what to do though because I’m having this internal debate on whether or not to hurt one of my best friends, he hasn’t told me he liked me but his sister said that he did.
1. How do I approach him about it?
2. How do I tell his ex/my best friend?
3. If all works out, how should I approach my parents about it? Should I bring him over and tell them or should I tell them without him there?

[Ask April Masini]

First of all, you don’t really know if he likes YOU yet! So there’s no real problem right this second — just your one way crush on him. I know his sister said he likes you, but I wouldn’t put a lot of stock in things you hear second hand. It’s always better to just trust the source — which would be him. That said, you should NOT approach him with your crush. If he likes you, you’ll know because he’ll start giving you extra attention and flirting with you. But in the meantime, and in answer to your first question, you shouldn’t do anything right now about your feelings for him.

If, however, he does start showing you affection and asks you out, you have to understand that your best friend is going to be very hurt. There’s just no way around that. His rejection of her is going to reignite if she finds out the two of you are crushing on each other and/or dating. It’s no one’s fault because these things do happen — especially in close communities like high schools, but it still hurts, nonetheless. Put yourself in her shoes and I’m sure you’ll understand how she’s going to feel if she finds out her ex-boyfriend likes you, you like him, and that you’re dating! It won’t be very pleasant. So don’t say anything to her unless there is something substantial to talk about — in other words, don’t discuss your crush on him with her.

But if he asks you out and you decide to date him, then the best tact is the honest one. Don’t expect her to like it or to forgive you for what she’s going to feel is a betrayal of your friendship to her. She’s going to be MAD! And you should be understanding and gracious, but know that this will affect your friendship with her temporarily at best, and permanently at worst. So think about what you really want to do.

If you do decide to date him, then talk to your parents before bringing him over to meet them. Your parents will trust and respect you a lot more if you talk to them up front and let them get used to the idea of your dating this boy, privately, rather than ambushing them by talking about your dating him with him there. (Awkward!)

I hope that helps — this is a tough one with no easy answers because when three people are involved in a relationship (even post-break up) there is always jealousy and hurt feelings for someone. Let me know how it goes.

And join me on Facebook!! Here’s the link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much, and I’ll really try to remember all if this.
There were a few signs that he liked me I’m just not sure if there signs.
-His sister was going shopping and he didn’t wanna come till he knew I was.
-He gave me a hug and was sad once I left
-and he asked me to hang out in the next few days.
Now I may also be taking that the wrong way.
And your right about my friend I guess. No scratch the I guess, you are right. I wont tell her unless anything is definate though.
And as for my parents… Well ya.
Thank you so much, this really did help.

[Ask April Masini]

Thank you! I’m glad I could help. 😀 It does sound like he likes you, but you’ll know one hundred percent if he increases the things he does that make you think he likes you. Right now you’re trying to figure out if he likes you or not, but if he asks you out on a date — you’ll know for sure, and you can take it from there at that time.

Please join me on AskApril.com on Facebook — I’d really love to see you there! Here’s that link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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