[blaster55]

Hi all, I’m looking to get some advice. I have been dating the same lady for 7 months. I aren’t to check my fb on her computer the other day and she was still logged in. I saw a message from some other guy. I read up and there was talk about how she would like him to kiss her on the neck etc. It didn’t go further than that and I’m pretty sure it was an isolated incident. I broke up with her over it and wonder if that was the right reaction. She is the only person I have truly loved. Thanks in advance.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I can’t quite tell from your use of pronouns if she wrote that she wanted to kiss another guy or if some other guy wrote that he wanted to kiss her. If it’s the latter, than I’d have told you to ignore it. If it’s the former, then instead of straight out breaking up with her, I would have advised that you pause and consider why she was unhappy in the relationship with you to the extent that she was flirting outside it. If she’s someone who cheats, then that’s a problem. But if she’s not someone who cheats, and she was flirting with some guy because she wasn’t completely committed to you, then it would have been prudent to consider that maybe there was more you could do in the relationship to win her desire and her loyalty. It sounds like you let your anger dictate your behavior rather than pausing and trying to figure out why she was doing what she was doing, and whether you’d have rather tried to win her over instead.

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[blaster55]

She was the one sayingv she would like him to kiss her. She had been drinking that night and the previous weekends we had an argument. We live ability an hour away from each other and only get to see each other on weekends. Trust is the main thing we had.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Well, if [b]she[/b] was saying that to someone else, then something was missing in the relationship between the two of you, for her. 😳 Leaving is always one way to address that problem, but so, too, is trying to figure out why she felt she wanted to kiss someone else, and addressing that problem within the relationship. 😉

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[blaster55]

Thanks I really would like this to work out! She told me after the breakup that maybe she felt a little underappreciated. However, she has always told me no one has ever treated her this well. Ahh relationships, gotta love them. Thanks for your time.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 😀

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[blaster55]

Thanks again,
I spoke with her yesterday and she said she still really cares about me, but she needs some space to figure out if this is right for her. Is that really asking for space or should I contact her. As of now I haven’t contacted her.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If she asks you for space, and you’ve seen her flirting with another man on Facebook, then she’s definitely looking for the opportunity to explore dating and other relationships. Knowing that, if you want to try and win her over, you can give it a shot — but you’ll have to really do something different than you have been doing which led you to this point, and if it doesn’t work, then you should definitely move on and accept the rejection as a gift. Not everyone is going to be everyone else’s cup of tea, and if she’s decided you’re not hers, then it’s really in your best interests to find someone who is. 😉

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