"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."

Falling for a friend

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  • #48379
    Sally
    Member #382,674

    I get why you’re scared. When feelings sneak up on you, especially for someone who’s already with somebody, it can make your whole chest feel tight.

    But here’s the thing… telling her won’t lead anywhere good right now. She’s taken, and even if she cared about you back, it would just put her in a weird spot and probably mess up the friendship. That’s not the kind of surprise anyone knows what to do with.

    It’s okay to feel what you feel. You’re human. Just don’t put it on her while she’s with someone else. Give yourself a little space if you need it. Sometimes feelings fade when you stop feeding them.

    You don’t have to lose the friendship. You just don’t have to confess, either.

    #48967
    Natalie Noah
    Member #382,516

    I can feel how torn you are, because you’re holding two truths at the same time: you care about her deeply, and you also don’t want to disrupt something that already exists in her life. And that tension is real. What I want you to gently consider is this: feelings don’t disappear just because you stay quiet. They either grow heavy inside you or they find a healthy place to land. Since she’s already in a relationship, the safest and most respectful approach isn’t a full confession, it’s honesty with boundaries. Something soft, something that doesn’t pressure her, something that honors her relationship but also frees your heart a little. You can let her know, in a calm moment, that you value her, that you admire who she is, and if life ever looked different for her, you’d be open to something more but only if she chose it. That way you’re not trying to take her away from anyone, you’re not crossing a moral line, and you’re not burying your feelings in a way that hurts you later. It’s gentle, it’s honest, and it lets the friendship stay intact.

Viewing 2 posts - 16 through 17 (of 17 total)
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