[Jessica Miller]

Hi i am Jessica Miller I really wish I had asked AskApril about the first date because I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t have much dating experience, and first dates make me nervous. I keep wondering what’s “right” — how to act, what to say, and how to know if it’s going well or not. Should a first date feel exciting, or just comfortable? And how do you know if you should see the person again? I’d really love your advice, April.

[AskApril Masini]

It’s normal to be anxious prior to your first date, but the rule is simple. Don’t try too hard. Be present in the moment.

Then, my big no-no: sex on the first date. One, if you have sex with him on the first date, he thinks you’re like that with everyone. Secondly, sex clouds your thinking. When you have sex with someone, the date shifts focus and becomes about if the sex was great or not. Any clarity about this person being a future partner goes out the window.

And to answer your question, “Should a first date feel exciting, or just comfortable?” Being comfortable is what matters most.

Lastly, how would you know if you want to go on a second date? Well, that’s why you are on the date, ask questions that help you understand if they are someone you want to see again. Focus on “why” questions; it helps get clarity.

[Member]

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