Hello,
My question sumerises in why would some accept to be a friend but still doesn’t be ae like one. I’m a married man and recently met a married woman who I find very nice. It seems we have chemistry and we got along very fast. We chat daily but she is always so closed. At the begging I thought it was normal that she keeps a distance until she gets to know me well. This never changed. She still is very cautious and closed. I feel something is wrong but can’t figure it out.
I talked to her about it and explained to her that I don’t intend to be more than friends and assured her that our relationship will not exceed friendship. I clearly told her that she is a person I like and feel comfortable to talk to and that’s why I consider her very special. I thought that was the reason for her behavior and clarifying this would make her more comfortable and open. Unfortunately and strangely that didn’t help and she replied saying that she sees it in a different way and she thinks that we are good friend and what I told her only complicate things. She also mentioned something I really didn’t quite understand. She said that it’s her nature to behave this way and she can’t change it and still she would like to be friends.
I think that friendship is meaningless if someone is unwilling or incapable to communicate and I told her this. Yet nothing changed. We still chat daily and she still kept her distance. after all my attempts ended with no succes I told she needs to chage or our friendship should stop. Again she is back to tell me that we should remain friends but she can’t change.
My question, why does she insist we remain friends if such friendship is meaningless. When she can’t communicate or is unwilling to why would she insist to be friends. Is it true that someone can’t open up. What can be the reasons for such behavior and is there anything I can do to change it.
If you don’t like the way a friend is behaving, then, simply, don’t befriend them. 😉 Instead of analyzing why she’s not behaving the way you want her to behave, save your energy and find a new friend who does. Compatibility is what makes friendships — and all relationships — work. This relationship doesn’t have that compatibility.
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Thanks April.
Usually this is what i would do. But, i think she is so special and the way she behaves makes me curious about whats going on.
I’ll be more than happy if you give me your opinion on whats going on.
What’s going on is that you don’t like the way this woman is conducting a friendship with you. She is behaving differently than you’d like her to behave. She isn’t as open as you’d like her to be. You’ve brought it up with her and she’s explained that this is who she is and how she behaves, and you don’t like it.
Hope that helps you understand the dynamic better. 😀
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