I’m aware of most my issues. (aspie, cyclothymic, a little limerance over someone from my past) as they relate to dating.
I’m stuck solving having any thoughts on how to fix one specific problem going forward.
it relates to (and requires acceptance of) ladder and friendzone theories
-‘ccording to what I’ve researched, failure to be explicit about romantic attentions from the getgo mean you get friendzoned.
While I may have desire, I can not express interest until my brain kicks in with attraction.
I feel doomed. I wrote about this in a personal webforum, so I’m going to paste relevant bits here;
My ideal steps,
1-find someone attractive to me-yes physically, but just as often because of ready smile or sillyness shown
2- get to know them, 3-decide I really like them entire, 4-then make a pass.
the third step, takes considerable time… apparently the time I invest into step three, ensures I’ll never succeed at step 4.
I find myself incapable of even leaning in to kiss someone,
without knowing more about them than can be learned readily and quickly.
I won’t kiss a mannequin, and until I know that someone I find attractive is acceptable personally, I can’t “want” them.
I will not allow myself the experience to myself to just randomly suck face and then find out that my partner is say, a bigot.
Help?
