[iiloveeyouux33j]

ok sorry this is so long but its a pretty long story.

well anyways, this boy named alex started going to my school in 8th grade. i’m in 10th grade now. at first i didnt really talk to him but then a girl im kind of friends with started going out with him from the end of 8th grade to the middle of 9th grade. by then me and alex were friends because he was always with my other friend. in 9th grade we were in a class together and i started liking him but i never said anything because of my friend that went out with him. i felt really bad about it. so then 9th grade ended, and alex told me he liked me and he asked me out. i said no because i didnt want my friend to be mad. i really really liked him though and we still hung out as friends. all summer he kept trying to get me to go out with him because i told him i liked him alot but i didnt want anyone to be mad at me. by the beginning of september i finally decided to go out with him. i told my friend and we talked about it. she said she was fine with it, but that he lies and cheats and she didnt want him to hurt me the way he hurt her. i told alex about it and he said that was his past and hes not like that anymore. so we were going out for almost a month. everything was going perfect, at least he acted like it was. and we always had fun together and we could talk for hours and he treated me really good and bought me stuff. we talked about our past relationships and i found out that he used to sleep around and he went out with ALOT of girls. that scared me because i always go for the wrong guys, and they screw me over in the end. he said he wasn’t like that anymore. it was stupid but i believed him. so everything was going perfect. then last week he broke up with me and said he didnt think it was gonna work out because he just liked me as a friend and he was confused, which makes no sense because even my friend went through my texts and couldnt understand what happened. up til the last day we were going out, all my texts from him were like i love you so much, your the most beautiful girl in the world, im so happy im going out with you, i didnt want to leave your house i wanted to stay with you forever, and then he did the complete opposite and texted me that he wanted to break up. i said fine and he said he still wanted to be friends. i said ok and that it was fine, but i was crying for days. of course he didnt know that though. a few days later i found out from a friend that he was talking to this girl online and he wanted to meet up with her while we were still going out. he doesn’t know that i know about that. it hurt me so much because i liked him for so long and i thought that he had to at least like me a little, since he tried so hard to go out with me. do you think it was just a game for him? i heard that he was telling people he could get any girl he wanted. he still talks to me in the hallway and i have no idea if i should ignore him or say hi and act like i don’t care. i miss him so much but then i think about it and i hate him for what he did to me, even though he said he wouldnt. what do i do? we were so close before and i hate that we ruined our friendship. and i feel so pathetic because every time i get a text message i still hope its him. do i talk to him or leave it alone? and how do i get over him if i still have to see him in the hallways every day?

[Ask April Masini]

Well, I’m sorry to say that it sounds like you were dating a guy who enjoys being a “player”… someone who is more interested in the chase and new conquests than relationships.

This, I have no doubt, has been a very painful learning experience. I’m sorry. So, what’s the lesson you may ask? The lesson is to understand that a liar is a lair and a cheat is a cheat. Regardless of what people may say, it is their actions that speak the truth. Based upon your post, this guy has lied to, and cheated on, his previous girlfriends. Thus, it is highly likely that he will lie to and cheat on future girlfriends. In short, the best predictor of future behavior, is past behavior. This guy’s past behavior clearly demonstrates who and what he is — a lair and a cheat.

It doesn’t matter who this guy is with – he will lie and he will cheat.

Frankly, he’s done you a huge favor in breaking up with you. He’s allowing you to find someone who is much, much better… someone who doesn’t lie and who doesn’t cheat — someone who values you and a relationship with you.

As for what to do when you see him in the hallway?

Hold your head up high and treat him just like any other acquaintance — no better — no worse. Do not cry. Do not create a scene. Do not pick a fight. Do not do anything … Act completely indifferent. And, very important, do not (under any circumstances) go out with him again should your indifference spark his interest in you again.

Here are a few columns that might be of interest:

Advice for when you find someone else you’re interested in

[Ethan Morales]

It’s clear you cared deeply for this guy, and that makes the hurt worse. When someone you’ve liked for so long finally shows interest, it’s easy to hope they’ve changed especially when their words sound sincere. But the truth is, he showed you who he was early on. He had a history of lying and cheating, and despite promising otherwise, he repeated that pattern. That’s not confusion, that’s inconsistency. It hurts, but recognising that truth is the first step in getting your power back.

April Masini was right when she said a liar is a liar and a cheat is a cheat. People can talk about how they’ve changed, but it’s their behaviour that tells the story. This guy’s pattern didn’t shift; it just paused long enough to make you trust him. You didn’t make a mistake by believing you just gave your heart to someone who didn’t deserve it. The key is to take the lesson, not the guilt, with you. His actions define him, not your worth.

Right now, your biggest challenge isn’t forgetting him, it’s breaking the emotional reflex that keeps you waiting for his texts or glancing his way in the hallway. That reflex fades when you stop feeding it. Don’t check his social media, don’t reread old messages, and don’t chase closure from him. The more you focus on your own peace, the faster the pull weakens. Every time you choose not to reach out, you’re teaching your brain that you don’t need him to feel okay.

When you see him at school, keep your composure. Say a polite hello if you can handle it, or just nod and move on. Indifference is the strongest statement you can make. It tells him that his games no longer have power over you. He may notice, maybe even try to get your attention again, don’t fall for it. The same charm that won you over before is the same tool he uses on others. You’ve already lived that story once. You don’t owe him a sequel.

It’s okay to miss him, that’s just your heart adjusting to the loss of a habit, not proof that he was right for you. What will help now is refocusing that emotional energy on yourself: friends, hobbies, things that remind you who you were before him. You’ve seen what happens when you ignore the red flags; next time, you’ll spot them sooner. That’s how heartbreak quietly turns into wisdom.

Most importantly, don’t let this turn you cold. Not everyone lies or cheats, even though it might feel that way right now. Keep your standards high and your heart cautious, but not closed. The right person won’t need to convince you that they’ve changed, they’ll just show you, through consistency and respect, who they really are.

You’ll walk past him one day and realise you don’t feel anything. That’s when you’ll know you’ve healed not because he’s forgotten, but because you’ve finally remembered yourself.

[Author]

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