[wisconsonrulz2016]

Both upper 20s work at the same company. We do work in an environment where I have to see her constantly daily and have all the same co-workers, so that part is hard. She is kind of recently out of a long term relationship where she lived with the long-term partner. Two things to remember here.

A girl works in my office who I see multiple times each day we work in the same team so its impossible not to see her often. Outside of work we do like everything together and rarely talk about work. We talk like non-stop, text constantly, do things all the time outside of work. She is constantly inviting me out, I go to her apartment all the time after work to chill, she really never says no to doing anything. She constantly wants to do things together and we can talk all the time, we never run out of things to say to each other. Even when her friends ask her to do something she never bails on me or invites them out, it so weird. She really puts me as a priority when I can hang out.

She is constantly inviting me over to her apartment and places with just us even in public where we run into co-workers. I know she is kind of shy and just came out of a long relationship a few months ago but every time I try to get close in her apartment I cant seem to get her close enough to make a move! Like in her apartment she will be on another couch or something so I cant seem to get her close enough to try to kiss her. Its so weird because I have to see her so much and we have tickets to a concert together in 2 weeks so I don’t want to ruin our friendship and make it weird at work. What do you think I should do? How can I ask casually without making it weird? Its so tough because we spend so much time together and everyone thinks we are a couple even twice two random people asked if we were on a date or said we were a cute couple. She responded “were just friends” VERY quickly but then looked down it almost seemed like a nervous answer, and she is kind of awkward at times, I don’t know how to read that. The truth is over time I have started to develop feelings for her since she wants to do everything together, she even volunteers to cook for me and stuff and shes so nice of a person. Its so weird and its so hard to ask since its someone I have to see so often.

I cant tell if its too soon from her old relationship or if she wants to be friends and im some void filler, or is just super shy and nervous. Can anyone think of a kind of casual way to ask if she is interested in me without maybe making it too weird? We spend so much time together its like 4 of the 7 nights of the week now and we do everything super couple like except I just cant seem to get her in a spot to make a move. I feel like we have to have a talk about us, but its so hard how to phrase It to make it as low key as possible. I really want to ask her or try to kiss her, but its so hard since we send SO much time together and have to work together no matter what the answer.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If she’s newly out of a relationship, she may welcome the friend zone in which you’re both situated right now. It may feel safe and she may like the company without the commitment, but…. it really sounds like she likes you and may be waiting for you to make a move — just not a physical move. I know that hanging out is easy, but it’s less clear to both people involved, what’s what. If you make a point of clarifying your feelings by asking her out on a date, you’ll have the opportunity to make the traditional kiss-at-the-end-of-the-date move at the very least! When you ask someone for a date, you run the risk of rejection (and then having to see her at work), but you also give yourself the chance of a payoff if she says yes. I think it’s time to take this relationship out of the friend zone, and see what her reaction to a real date is.

[Sally]

She clearly likes you and feels close to you. People don’t spend that much time together, invite someone over constantly, and prioritize them unless there’s real attachment. That part is real.
What’s likely holding her back is that she just came out of a long relationship and isn’t ready to define anything new yet. Keeping physical distance helps her avoid crossing a line she’s not sure about.
Instead of trying to kiss her, the safest move is a simple, calm check-in. Say something like:
“I’ve started to feel more than just friends with you and wanted to see if you feel the same no pressure.”
That gives clarity without making work awkward and stops you from guessing.

[Nick Roy]

Brother, it’s simple. You are just a time pass or emotional support for her. She has fun with you, eats food, and lightens her heart because she has had a breakup and wants to call out her old sorrow.
And I think you’ve become just a “Rebound” to her. If you dare, pin him to the wall and ask
What am I to you? If she says just a friend, then brother, go your own way
Or
Give her some time, don’t put pressure on her, she will come closer when she feels comfortable, enjoy the friend zone for now until she fully recovers.
April, I am new to your forum, but I often read your advice, and I really like that you give very professional and practical advice.

When I read this post. I remembered something about myself. When I went on a first date with my girlfriend for the first time, when I tried to kiss her, she pulled back as if she had been shocked by electricity, and I was confused.
Now AskApril, I have an innocent question: why do girls act like this?

[Member]

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