[Littlewing8887]

I work with a girl that I very much like. We went out once and had a great time together. We literally talked to each other for 2 1/2 hours non stop.

We were supposed to go out again, but she started acting really strange and cancelled on me last minute. She said she was sorry and would make it up to me, but continued to act strange.

I spoke with her a few days later, and she told me that she had recently gotten out of a yearlong relationship, and that she didn’t think it would be fair to me to continue going out, that she was too much all over the place.

I told her that I cared about her, would like to continue going out with her, and wanted her to be happy. Hopefully, these 3 things can coexist.

I then told her to take some time, sort things out, and promise she won’t forget about me.

I am so confused; I don’t know what to do next. Right now, it’s like I am Ina torturous purgatory. I’m fairly confident that she likes me and believe her when she says she isn’t ready for a relationship, but what do I do? Do I wait a while and bring up the subject of a date again?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

What you do is to move on. If someone tells you that they don’t want to date you, you should listen to them. It’s always a gift when someone rejects you straight out because then you can move on without wondering. It keeps you from wasting your time. 😉

Since she told you that she’s not ready for a relationship because she just got out of a year-long relationship, and she wants some time to be single, date other people, etc., then you can also come back to her in a few weeks or a month, and ask her out again. If she sees that you’re not waiting around (desperation is not attractive) for her, and have other women interested in you, and a successful life on your own, you’ll be more attractive to her.

However, if she just used the year-long relationship break up as an excuse, and she says no again (and again), then you really do have to accept the fact that you’re just not her cup of tea, and move on so you can find someone who thinks you are. 😉

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[Littlewing8887]

Thanks for pretty much confirming what I thought. I certainly won’t wait around for her, but maybe I’ll bring up the subject again next month.

Also, lesson learned not to get into relationships with people at work. Having to see her every day is killing me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good luck!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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