[LizK124]

Recently I ended a year long relationship because of unsettling feelings. I had been dating a guy who had a 7 year old child. He paid child support and health insurance but besides that didn’t have much of a place in her life. He claimed it being on the fact that he was tricked into having this child (the girl said she was on birth control). Ever since entering his life he would have no contact with the child mother. All communication/planning/visits were set up between his mom and the child’s mother.. Within a year I would say we saw his daughter a total of 6 times, 2 or 3 of which were initiatied by me trying to get him to make plans. Besides this issue, he was probably the nicest guy I ever dated, but this situation was very weighing on me, and ultimately was something that ate away at me day after day, leading to me just pushing him away and finding it/him unattractive I guess you could say. I’m in my early 20s, have a great career and just felt as though, not to sound horrible, that I could do better. Financially it was frustrating to watch, emotionally it was difficult… And I couldn’t help but think, how would it be if we had kids? Or how would his daughter feel if he was a good dad to our own kids?… Am I being shallow? Are my feelings valid? It’s difficult for me to wrap my head around.. Breaking up with someone who did nothing to you and would have done anything for me. :-/

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Your feelings are valid. Everybody is entitled to their feelings, and if you feel that you want a man who has a different type of relationship with his children from prior relationships, that’s your prerogative, and you should try to get what you want. 😉

Breakups are a lot easier when there is drama, cheating, abuse, and other wrongs that are easy to see. When there’s an incompatibility, between two nice people, it’s a lot more difficult to break up. That doesn’t mean it’s a less worthy reason. Absolve yourself of your guilt and make peace with the deal breakers you have for finding your Mr. Right. 😉

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[LizK124]

Thank you 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome. 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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