Me and this girl have been dating for about 4 months, and it was an instant connection from the start – we ended up talking for hours until the bar closed, about everything, and it was clear there was definite relationship potential so long as one of us didn’t reveal some secret appendage, marriage, loyalty to a cult etc. We’ve seen each other almost every day since then, and we’re talking about moving in together. It may sound like it’s moving too fast at first, but we’ve just both dated enough in the past to know when we’re ready for something like that.
Everything has been great – except when she starts talking about her exes. Which is more often than any girl I’ve dated in the past, and pretty early on too. She’s been in long term serious relationships since 13 (she’s 21 now), been engaged and called it off with an ex of 3 years (realized he wasn’t marriage material), went through a phase of flings with multiple guys simultaneously, then had a few pretty damaged long-term relationships that were life-changing before taking a break from dating for a while then meeting me. She’s been completely honest about all of it, and I knew some of this before I let it get too serious, so nothing so far has been a total surprise. Despite all that she’s gone above and beyond to show that she’s serious with me, even saying more serious than anyone in the past. She’s the type to be bluntly honest, about her past and the crazy drama involved so I owe it to her to believe her. I haven’t felt this way about a girl in a very long time, and we both see us going somewhere.
It’s started to really bother me how much she talks about her exes and their relationships. More than that, it bothers me how many of them she STILL talks to and is friends with. I’ve never dealt with that before, and I’ve already met more than a few either ex-boyfriends or ex-flings. Granted almost all were from a few years ago or more, and I’m not trying to judge – just trying to not be bothered by it so much. But it doesn’t help that she’s still friends with some of these guys and every now and then a picture pops up where she’ll point out 5 or 6 guys in the same pic with her at a party, that she used to date or talk to at one point. I’ve never heard of anything like that on that level. Most of the time it’s because I ask who they are, not because she’s throwing it in my face. I just don’t know how to deal with this sometimes. It’s new territory and I try really hard to be cool with it.
Am I crazy for letting it bother me? Or has she truly let go of her past enough to move forward with me?
