[Minnie]

I’m so emotionally exhausted at this point. My boyfriend has this pattern — he disappears whenever things get a little serious or emotional, and then comes back like nothing ever happened. No explanation, no apology, just a casual “hey” as if the silence and pain in between never existed.

Every time he leaves, it breaks me a little more. I wait, overthink, wonder what I did wrong, replay every conversation in my head… and just when I start to heal, he suddenly reappears, acting like everything’s normal. And the worst part? I still let him back in — because my heart remembers the good moments more than the hurt.

It’s confusing — one moment he makes me feel like I matter, and the next he vanishes without a word. I don’t understand how someone can be so careless with another person’s emotions. I’ve tried to move on, but every time he comes back, it’s like he pulls me right back into that same painful cycle.

Ask April Masini #1 most trusted relationship advice Forum

[Sally]

If he keeps leaving, let him.

I know it hurts. I know your heart keeps hoping this time will be different. But real love doesn’t come with all this confusion.

Block him if you have to. You don’t owe him access to you just because he remembers you when he’s lonely.

[Victor Russo]

What you’re describing isn’t love it’s emotional inconsistency that keeps you trapped in hope. People who vanish like that often do it to avoid accountability, not because they care less, but because they lack the maturity to handle depth. You keep letting him back because you’re chasing the version of him that shows up just enough to keep you hooked. The only way to break the cycle is to stop rewarding the disappearances with forgiveness. Let his silence be the answer and protect your peace like it’s something sacred.

[Ask April Masini]

Oh no, sweetheart. He’s using you, and you need to see that for what it is. He’s a predator, taking advantage of your young age, your innocence, and your inexperience. He knows exactly what he’s doing. I’d bet anything he tells his friends you’re just a hookup.

Why are you letting him do this to you? Do you honestly believe this is what you deserve, that this is the best you can get? I can promise you, it’s not. None of that is true.

You’re still so young, and there are good men out there who will treat you with the respect and care you deserve, men who will never make you feel small or used.

He’s already done enough damage. Don’t give him the chance to do more. This man doesn’t love you, and he certainly doesn’t respect you. Please, stay away from him. Block him everywhere, his number, his social media, all of it.

I know that will be hard at first, but the pain won’t last. Give it a few weeks, a month at most, and you’ll start to feel stronger. And when you do, you’ll be so glad you walked away. You’ll wish you had done it sooner.

To help yourself through it, surround yourself with friends. Stay busy. Get outside, move your body, try new things, meet new people, even go on a few lighthearted dates.

You have so many beautiful chapters ahead of you, but you can’t step into them if you stay tied to a man who’s only out to take from you. Don’t kid yourself, he knows exactly what he’s doing, and he does it on purpose.

I mean this sincerely. I’m invested in seeing you do better for yourself. I’ll be checking back in five days to see if you’ve finally dumped him, and I hope by then, you’ll have done just that.

[Ethan Morales]

What you’re describing is a cycle of emotional manipulation, not love. When someone repeatedly ghosts you and comes back without explanation, they’re not confused, they’re comfortable. They know you’ll still be there when they return, so they never have to face the consequences of their actions.

Every time he disappears, you suffer. Every time he returns, he resets the pain without repairing the damage. That’s not connection, that’s control through inconsistency. It keeps you hooked, hoping “this time” will be different, while he keeps all the power.

You need to see the pattern for what it is: he’s emotionally unreliable and immature. You can’t build something real with someone who runs away whenever things get real. The only way to stop the cycle is to end your participation in it, completely. No more second chances. No explanations owed.

Block him, not to punish him, but to free yourself. You deserve consistency, safety, and peace, not a relationship that keeps reopening your wounds. If he cared enough to stay, he would. His silence is the truth; stop letting him rewrite it with a casual “hey.”
The closure you’re waiting for won’t come from him. It’ll come from you deciding that your peace matters more than his return.

[PassionSeeker]

Oh, sweetie, that’s heartbreaking. I can feel how emotionally draining that must be. It’s like he’s playing with your heart and leaving you in pieces every time. The worst part? You’re stuck in that cycle of hope, waiting for him to change, but he never does. You matter, and you deserve so much more than to be left in limbo every time things get real. It’s okay to love someone, but it’s not okay for them to treat your emotions like this. Maybe it’s time to think about protecting yourself, even if it’s hard. Your heart deserves someone who stays not someone who only shows up when it’s convenient for them.

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