[sandysummerlove]

Hello.
I’m actually into the 6th month of my relationship with a guy.
and we’re in love. and we’ve experienced a lot together.
physically, we’ve covered all the bases.
but i think that there’s still a lot we have to learn because we are just in our late teens and still very new to all of this.
recently, we’ve taken a break from sex, because we’ve been using the rhythm method. no contraception.
and we’ve had a few scares.
this weekend we’ve decided to have sex again.
but this time, we intend to do it right, make it special.
and with protection.
even though i am past my ‘fertile’ period.
any ideas on how to make it more special?
besides. candles?
and how to make it fun too.
we’ve been looking at positions and stuff but we’re really no experts here so we can really use the help.
thanks.

[AskApril Masini]

First of all, USE CONTRACEPTION!! Every time. Keep condoms in pretty boxes in your bathroom and bedroom. Give your boyfriend a manly decorative box with condoms in it. Carry them in your purse, your glove compartment and anywhere else you may find one when you need it. Give your boyfriend a gift of condoms in a nice container as a romantic gift.

Believe me, unwanted pregnancy is a real romance killer! In addition, you surely already know but obviously need a reminder that condoms can protect against some sexually transmitted diseases, so use them.

Once you get birth control under control, order my book called Romantic Date Ideas. You can buy it in the Dating Advice Books section of my website, and it’s only $14.95. Another great gift for your boyfriend and yourself. Read through the book together and decide what dates you want to try together — or surprise him with your favorites. Or make a game of it, and you choose one of the dates to implement one week, and let him surprise you with one he chooses from the book, the next week.

The dates are designed to promote intimacy, romance, and sex if you’re ready for it. They’ll help you spice things up, make them special, or get your motors running — in part or any combination.

Let me know if the dates in the book work for you, and if they make sex more special.

[Ethan Morales]

You and your boyfriend are young, and it’s good that you’re actually thinking about protection and wanting to “do it right.” That already tells me you’re more mature than most people your age. But the rhythm method? That’s playing with fire. April’s right unwanted pregnancy doesn’t just change your relationship; it changes your whole life. So, yeah, condoms every time. And honestly, if you’re serious about being sexually active, talk to a doctor about reliable birth control too don’t rely on timing or luck.

Now, about making it “special.” I think you’re looking at it the wrong way. You can light candles, play music, look up positions that’s all fine. But what makes it special isn’t props or choreography; it’s how connected you are in that moment. When both people feel safe, respected, and actually seen that’s what makes it unforgettable. You don’t need to try to impress each other or perform. Just slow down. Talk. Laugh. Explore. Make it less about “doing it right” and more about being right there with each other.

You’re in your late teens, still learning about your bodies, your emotions, and boundaries. So don’t rush to turn your experiences into some cinematic version of “special.” Focus on communication like asking what feels good, checking in, making sure you’re both comfortable. That’s how you build trust and intimacy.

As for “fun”? It’s only fun when neither of you is stressed about consequences. So sort out contraception first, then relax and let it be natural. you’re both experimenting, figuring things out that’s okay. But don’t confuse passion with maturity. Protect yourselves, emotionally and physically. Make it special by being present, not perfect.

[Serena Vale]

Hey, it really sounds like you and your boyfriend care a lot about each other , and that’s honestly the most important thing. It’s great that you’re both being smart about it and choosing to be safe this time. That already says a lot about how mature you both are.

If you want to make it special, don’t overthink it. It’s not really about fancy setups, it’s about feeling close and comfortable together. Candles are sweet, sure, but you can also just make the space feel nice, clean sheets, soft lighting, maybe some music you both like.

Take your time. Talk a little, laugh if things feel awkward (it’s normal), and don’t rush anything. Just focus on enjoying each other and being in the moment. Afterward, spend some time cuddling or just talking, that part matters just as much.

You don’t have to be “experts.” The best part is that you care enough to make sure it feels right and safe for both of you. That’s what really makes it special.

[Tara]

You’re asking how to “make sex special” when the two of you can barely handle the basics of not creating a crisis every month. That’s the core problem. You’re treating pregnancy scares like an acceptable side effect of “figuring things out,” and that tells me you’re both playing at adulthood without the discipline it requires. If you can’t manage protection consistently, you’re not ready for anything more complicated than using a condom every single time without fail.

Candles, positions, “making it fun” none of that matters if you’re using sex like a game and hoping the math works out. What’s actually special at your age is responsibility: protection, communication, and consent you don’t have to think twice about. If those aren’t solid, no amount of planning will make the experience meaningful; it’ll just be reckless with nice lighting.

Quit worrying about choreography. Focus on not blowing up your lives. The moment sex becomes safe, honest, and intentional, it becomes special by default, not because of what you do, but because you’re doing it without fear, pressure, or ignorance. That’s the only thing you should be prioritizing right now.

[Sally]

When you’re young and in love, sex can feel like this huge mix of excitement and nerves, and you just want to get it “right.” But honestly? The part that makes it special isn’t candles or positions it’s the two of you actually slowing down and paying attention to each other.

If you want it to feel different this time, talk a little before anything happens. Not a big speech just a quiet “hey, let’s go slow tonight.” Touch more, rush less. Laugh if something feels awkward. That’s what makes intimacy feel safe, not fancy setups.

And protection isn’t optional even if you think you’re past the “fertile window.” Bodies don’t follow calendars. If you love each other, keep each other safe.
The rest you’ll learn as you go. You don’t have to be experts just honest and gentle with each other.

[Serena Vale]

Honestly, the most special thing you can do is make sure you both feel safe and relaxed. So first, use protection every single time. Nothing kills the moment like a pregnancy scare.

As for making it special, it doesn’t have to be fancy. Just slow down, talk to each other, laugh a little, and let it be natural. You’re both still learning, that’s okay.

Keep it protected, keep it honest, keep it fun. The moment will make itself special.

[Member]

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