[comem24]

So I have been contemplating my life these days (quite awhile now, actually) and I realize that I have given up quite a bit of my life when I started dating my boyfriend. I am beginning to miss my single life – the freedom, the girls, and the boys. Not gonna lie. I really miss the boys. I miss the chase, the flirtations and the guessing games. All of these made life fun and exciting. Dating life, on the other hand, is not so exciting. In fact, it seems so ROUTINE and MUNDANE. We never do anything fun anymore. Everything we do is just so boring. We have eaten out 10000 times, watched 10000 movies, took 10000 pictures. What else is there to eat, to see and to do?

I think it was exciting once…but that seemed so long ago. I keep on telling myself that this relationship is working, that every relationship goes through the same stages and that everything will work out in the end because “love” will conquer everything (excuse the cliche). But does “love” conquer everything? What is “love” anyway? Do I really “love” him?

To be fair, my boyfriend is a great guy. He’s smart, caring, considerate, responsible, and gentle. But there just seem to be something missing. I can’t really pin-point what exactly that is. It’s like an essence or something — the chemistry. We never started off being 100% into each other. He and I were friends for three years before he asked me out. I don’t even know why we ended up together. I think my saying yes was based first, on not wanting to hurt him and second, on seeing that he is a great guy and wanting to give him a chance. This chance turned into one year (and half) of dating.

By the way, we never celebrate any special occasions or anything. We had our first anniversary in May but didn’t celebrate it due to his exams (he is in medical school). We did, however, made up for it later by going biking at the Sea wall and having dinner in a small but nice restaurant. But no anniversary gifts. And I paid for the dinner.

He never calls me. EVER. Only texts. And I only text him also because I can’t even talk to him for more than 5 minutes on the phone. He has nothing to say and I feel bad for just talking about myself and complaining endlessly in order to keep up a pointless conversation. He never shares anything exciting or interesting with me. In fact, he is so BORING.

Even until now, I do not trust him 100%. He is not the first person I want to call when I am lonely nor is he the first person I call when something good (or bad) happens to me. In fact, I feel like I am not even me when I am with him. I am such a talkative and cheerful person to everyone. But when I am with him, I am sullen and unhappy. I never laugh anymore – except when I am with my friends but that laughter is now so staged and fake. I was never like this before.

But I do like him and care about him in every way. I really do, despite everything. Everyone has their own set of problems and no one is perfect. I, for one, is not perfect. In fact, I look up to him in many ways. I wished I had his perseverance and his determination in doing things.

But I don’t know if I love him. He is a great friend because he listens and he cares but shouldn’t love be more than that?

I am unsure whether my relationship is the root of my unhappiness…It could be other things as well. I would be devastated if I have to leave him because I truly care about him.

What should I do? Can someone tell me what I should do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re not that into him. It’s pretty simple. You’re looking for some profound reason to stop dating him, and there is none. None of the things you complain about are essential deal breakers. And none of the reasons you give to stay with him are stellar. He’s a nice guy you fell into a relationship with and it’s run it’s course.

It’s time to move on. The risk of giving up Mr. Right is low and the risk of staying with Mr. Wrong if you don’t break up, is high.

I hope that help. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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