[stuck111]

I sort of started liking my brothers’ friend. Then we kind of became friends. Now i always involve him with whatever it is I’m doing and if he wants anything I’m right there. I’ll refer to him as “A”. I told my other friend, who I’ll refer to as “B”, that i thought i liked A. B told A that i might like him and he said he already knows who he loves and that’s all that matters and he doesn’t want anyone else. Problem is this person he “loves” doesn’t seem like a very good person to be with. I mean i may be jealous but nobody thinks they should be together. She broke up with him and dated his friend and he said he was done with her but now they’re going back out again. We haven’t been friends very long but how do i tell him that his girlfriend doesn’t deserve him without sounding jealous? Or even how do i tell him i want to be with him?

[AskApril Masini]

Sorry, but you’re just friends. Nothing more.

The boy you like likes someone else, and you should butt out. I know that’s harsh truth, but you need to hear it before you create drama that backfires on you. This boy is right when he says he knows who he loves and that’s all that matters — it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of the girl he likes or the fact that he likes her. It’s his business, and no one else’s. Relationships work best when there are only 2 people in them. You don’t belong in his relationship with this other girl.

As for you liking him, he already knows you like him because your friend told him so. In fact, he probably knows because you like being with him, and he can tell. So, I don’t think you should tell him. I mean, what’s the point? If he wanted to date you, he would. But he’s interested in someone else. Telling him you like him is only going to set yourself up for more rejection.

Rejection happens all the time in life, and it’s actually a gift. I know it’s hard for you to see it that way, but if you’re smart, you’ll start looking for other boys to like — boys who are actually available to you, and like you back. I’d stop hanging around with this friend of your brother’s because it’s just going to create hurt for you. You’ll be much happier without him in your life so much, and you’ll forget all about this boy the minute someone else you like pops up in your life! 🙂

[stuck111]

I guess maybe explaining more would help.
I can’t just stay out of his life because he always comes to me when something is wrong. I have tried not hanging around him or with him but then he’ll call me or ask if i wanna go do something.
His girlfriend is 14. I doubt she knows what shes getting into. He does though.
I’m not trying to tell him i like him because obviously he knows, I just can’t admit it to him myself. And i wanna be a friend by telling him his girlfriend isn’t right for him and that he deserves better but then he’ll think im just jealous.
I know i should just butt out but i hate just sitting back to watch him get hurt.

[AskApril Masini]

Of course, you can stay out of his life! It’s easy. All you have to do is say, “no.” ❗ Just because he comes to your house to hang out with your brother doesn’t mean you have to contribute to their conversations. In fact, you could leave the room if he’s there. And if he asks you for advice, just because he asks, doesn’t mean you have to give it to him. You see, you’re part of this dynamic, right now, and you don’t have to be. You can take responsibility for your own actions. So, if he asks for your advice, you can just tell him you’d rather not be involved. Or that he’d be better off asking someone else for advice. It’s that simple.

If you can learn to be responsible for your own boundaries, which means saying no, and not participating in something just because someone asks you to, at your age, when you get older, you’re going to be very skilled at life! 😛

Whether you think this guy deserves better or not — well, that’s none of your business. Your opinion doesn’t belong in his life. His feelings for his 14 year old friend, are his business. No one else’s. (Unless of course he’s 21 or older.) Your opinion is also self-serving, meaning it serves you, since you like him, to tell him that he deserves better than the girl he likes. So don’t say it. Really — just don’t! 🙁

The best thing you can do for yourself (and everyone else), is to step away from the drama, and move on to look for other boys to like, who will like you back the same way! If they like someone else, don’t tell them they’re wrong in their opinions. Just take the information, as it affects YOU, and move on to find someone who does like you. He’s out there! 😉

[stuck111]

Well first you say he’s my friend and nothing more.
Then you say to completely ignore him?
It doesn’t make sense what so ever.
He makes a VERY good friend.
I suppose his relationships are none of my business but seeing as how he is my friend i don’t like how he gets treated and in return treats other people like they’re nothing.
I’m not looking for a response to this because i’ve pretty much lived my whole life without taking advice from people and i turned out just fine.
He’s not my friend just because he was my brothers’ friend. He’s my friend because i’ve work VERY hard to be his friend and stay his friend.
I didn’t expect you to solve my problem i just really needed to talk about it 🙂
As for him he broke up with his GF and now we are goin out 🙂
thankssss

[AskApril Masini]

I hope that things work out for you and your new boyfriend. And if not — I’m happy to answer any questions you may have, here.

[Ethan Morales]

Look, I get it. when you like someone, it’s easy to convince yourself that maybe they’re with the wrong person, and if they could just see what you see, everything would change. But that’s not how it works. He’s made his choice, even if it’s a bad one, and right now, your job isn’t to “save” him it’s to protect your own peace.

April’s right about one thing: rejection isn’t the end of the world. It’s clarity. Painful, but clean. You already know he’s taken and not looking your way, so staying close will only make you feel smaller every time he talks about her or drifts away. That kind of slow burn hurts worse than a clean break.

If I were you, I’d pull back a bit not out of pettiness, but self-respect. Let him deal with his own choices. If that relationship crashes, it’s not your job to be the one waiting in the wings. When someone’s truly meant to notice you, you won’t have to fight for their attention they’ll meet you halfway.

[Natalie Noah]

The first thing I notice is how deeply your emotions were tied to someone who wasn’t actually available to you at the time. You cared about him and were invested in his well-being, but your attraction blurred the boundaries between friendship and romantic desire. April’s advice points out a hard truth: even though your intentions were protective or caring, his relationships and choices weren’t your responsibility. At the time, you were trying to influence his love life because of your feelings, but that was self-serving in a way not bad, but it carried the risk of emotional pain for yourself and possibly drama in his life.

Thing that stands out is the idea of emotional boundaries. You had to navigate the tension between being a good friend and managing your own feelings, and it’s clear that was complicated by the fact that he came to you when things went wrong. You were stepping into the “helper” role repeatedly, which made it hard to maintain perspective and let him live his own life. April’s point is that stepping back is actually empowering. Saying “no” or choosing not to engage is not rejection of him as a person; it’s taking care of your own emotional well-being. Learning that skill early is incredibly valuable because it sets the tone for all future relationships.

The question of whether to express your feelings is critical. You already had someone else reveal your feelings on your behalf, so he likely knew you liked him. At that point, telling him yourself would not have changed the situation because he was emotionally invested elsewhere. The lesson here is that feelings alone don’t create relationships mutual availability, timing, and readiness do. The healthiest choice in situations like this is to protect your heart by stepping back, rather than pushing for something that isn’t reciprocated.

What’s beautiful in the ending is that you eventually got to a healthy resolution: you two went out after he was available and the timing aligned. This shows that patience, boundaries, and respect for other people’s choices often lead to better outcomes than trying to control or rush things. Your experience taught you about self-restraint, the importance of letting people make their own choices, and the value of waiting for a connection where both parties can give fully. It’s a lesson in emotional maturity that will serve you for the rest of your life.

[Member]

Posts