[stuck111]

I sort of started liking my brothers’ friend. Then we kind of became friends. Now i always involve him with whatever it is I’m doing and if he wants anything I’m right there. I’ll refer to him as “A”. I told my other friend, who I’ll refer to as “B”, that i thought i liked A. B told A that i might like him and he said he already knows who he loves and that’s all that matters and he doesn’t want anyone else. Problem is this person he “loves” doesn’t seem like a very good person to be with. I mean i may be jealous but nobody thinks they should be together. She broke up with him and dated his friend and he said he was done with her but now they’re going back out again. We haven’t been friends very long but how do i tell him that his girlfriend doesn’t deserve him without sounding jealous? Or even how do i tell him i want to be with him?

[Ask April Masini]

Sorry, but you’re just friends. Nothing more.

The boy you like likes someone else, and you should butt out. I know that’s harsh truth, but you need to hear it before you create drama that backfires on you. This boy is right when he says he knows who he loves and that’s all that matters — it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of the girl he likes or the fact that he likes her. It’s his business, and no one else’s. Relationships work best when there are only 2 people in them. You don’t belong in his relationship with this other girl.

As for you liking him, he already knows you like him because your friend told him so. In fact, he probably knows because you like being with him, and he can tell. So, I don’t think you should tell him. I mean, what’s the point? If he wanted to date you, he would. But he’s interested in someone else. Telling him you like him is only going to set yourself up for more rejection.

Rejection happens all the time in life, and it’s actually a gift. I know it’s hard for you to see it that way, but if you’re smart, you’ll start looking for other boys to like — boys who are actually available to you, and like you back. I’d stop hanging around with this friend of your brother’s because it’s just going to create hurt for you. You’ll be much happier without him in your life so much, and you’ll forget all about this boy the minute someone else you like pops up in your life! 🙂

[stuck111]

I guess maybe explaining more would help.
I can’t just stay out of his life because he always comes to me when something is wrong. I have tried not hanging around him or with him but then he’ll call me or ask if i wanna go do something.
His girlfriend is 14. I doubt she knows what shes getting into. He does though.
I’m not trying to tell him i like him because obviously he knows, I just can’t admit it to him myself. And i wanna be a friend by telling him his girlfriend isn’t right for him and that he deserves better but then he’ll think im just jealous.
I know i should just butt out but i hate just sitting back to watch him get hurt.

[Ask April Masini]

Of course, you can stay out of his life! It’s easy. All you have to do is say, “no.” ❗ Just because he comes to your house to hang out with your brother doesn’t mean you have to contribute to their conversations. In fact, you could leave the room if he’s there. And if he asks you for advice, just because he asks, doesn’t mean you have to give it to him. You see, you’re part of this dynamic, right now, and you don’t have to be. You can take responsibility for your own actions. So, if he asks for your advice, you can just tell him you’d rather not be involved. Or that he’d be better off asking someone else for advice. It’s that simple.

If you can learn to be responsible for your own boundaries, which means saying no, and not participating in something just because someone asks you to, at your age, when you get older, you’re going to be very skilled at life! 😛

Whether you think this guy deserves better or not — well, that’s none of your business. Your opinion doesn’t belong in his life. His feelings for his 14 year old friend, are his business. No one else’s. (Unless of course he’s 21 or older.) Your opinion is also self-serving, meaning it serves you, since you like him, to tell him that he deserves better than the girl he likes. So don’t say it. Really — just don’t! 🙁

The best thing you can do for yourself (and everyone else), is to step away from the drama, and move on to look for other boys to like, who will like you back the same way! If they like someone else, don’t tell them they’re wrong in their opinions. Just take the information, as it affects YOU, and move on to find someone who does like you. He’s out there! 😉

[stuck111]

Well first you say he’s my friend and nothing more.
Then you say to completely ignore him?
It doesn’t make sense what so ever.
He makes a VERY good friend.
I suppose his relationships are none of my business but seeing as how he is my friend i don’t like how he gets treated and in return treats other people like they’re nothing.
I’m not looking for a response to this because i’ve pretty much lived my whole life without taking advice from people and i turned out just fine.
He’s not my friend just because he was my brothers’ friend. He’s my friend because i’ve work VERY hard to be his friend and stay his friend.
I didn’t expect you to solve my problem i just really needed to talk about it 🙂
As for him he broke up with his GF and now we are goin out 🙂
thankssss

[Ask April Masini]

I hope that things work out for you and your new boyfriend. And if not — I’m happy to answer any questions you may have, here.

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