[myah1]

hi my name is zhanna im so confused okay i been with my man almost 5year it was good we lived to gether then last 2 years we had ups downs fight to much i was picking at the most little things how dumb of me but didnt want to let each other go we love and was use to each other had fun and bad times and he started cheating claimd he didnt but thats life sum times well we broke up in feb7,09 its been like 5 months we been apart and he wont pick up my phone call or any thing but do call out the blue like mothers day and stuff he said he was sick of me fighting with him and we will never be nothing more but friend,but use to really never wanet to let each other go so what do u think is he just taking time and will be back in my life? or thats it?my daughter calld him daddy he loved her like his olne i dont know?and i cry bout it every day he was good man it just took me this long to realize i meaa we had lil fights break up 2days i run to my moms house then get back together i come back home but never wanet to let each other go we broke up for month once he even moved in with some chick doing that month then left her to get bck with me and its like its been 5months i feel like im still waiting for him

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like your relationship went south during the last two years when you were fighting and then he started cheating on you. Cheating was his way of trying to get out of the relationship. It took those two bad years for the relationship to finally end, but it

[Ethan Morales]

From what you’ve described, your relationship had a lot of ups and downs, and the pattern of breaking up and getting back together, combined with fighting and his cheating, shows that the foundation was unstable. Even though you both clearly love each other, repeated conflict and infidelity indicate that the relationship, as it was, was not healthy.

Now, five months after the breakup, his behavior ignoring your calls, only contacting you sporadically sends a clear message. He has chosen distance and is setting boundaries. While it’s natural to hope he will come back, the reality is that he has made a decision for himself, and you cannot control or predict whether he will return.

Your longing and pain are real, especially because your daughter sees him as a father figure. That makes moving on harder, but your focus now should be on your emotional well-being and your daughter’s stability. Waiting for him can keep you stuck in a cycle of hope and heartbreak.

Stop waiting and hoping for him to return. Accept that the relationship has likely ended. Focus on yourself and your daughter. Heal from the breakup and rebuild your life independently. Set boundaries with him. Limit contact to what’s necessary for co-parenting, if applicable, so you’re not caught in emotional limbo. Reflect on the relationship honestly. Understand the patterns of fighting and cheating so you don’t repeat them in future relationships.

I know it hurts, and letting go is hard, but your happiness and your daughter’s stability come first. The best chance for peace and a healthy future is to move forward without waiting for him.

[Serena Vale]

Hey Zhanna,

I can feel how much this hurts, and honestly, it makes sense you’re confused. Five years with someone, that’s a long time to build love, habits, and a whole rhythm together. It’s not easy to just turn that off.

But here’s the hard truth: when someone says “we’ll never be more than friends,” and keeps ignoring your calls, they’re showing you where they stand right now, even if it’s not what you want to hear. He might still care about you and your daughter, but caring isn’t the same as wanting to rebuild a relationship.

You said it yourself, things got messy toward the end. The fights, the small things that became big, the trust breaking. That kind of damage takes more than time to heal. It takes two people who both want to fix it and grow from it. Right now, it sounds like he’s pulled away to find peace or space, and maybe even to protect himself from the chaos that used to be between you two.

That doesn’t mean you weren’t worth it, or that what you had wasn’t real. It just means it ran its course, at least for now. Instead of waiting for him to come back, start focusing on yourself and your daughter. Let yourself grieve, but also rebuild. You don’t have to erase him from your heart, but you can start letting go of the version of him — and of “you two” — that no longer exists.

If he ever circles back, let it be because you’re both in a new, healthier place, not because you were waiting in pain for him to return.

You’ve already learned a big lesson, how easily love can slip away when communication turns into fighting. Take that with you, and next time, you’ll love better and stronger.

You’ll be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

[Natalie Noah]

It really seems like the relationship has reached a point where it’s over. Those last two years of constant fighting and mistrust, combined with the cheating, created patterns that are extremely hard to repair. The fact that he now avoids your calls and only reaches out sporadically even on holidays suggests that he’s emotionally moved on in some ways, even if he hasn’t fully severed ties. It’s natural to hold onto hope, especially when your daughter called him “daddy” and there was love once, but hoping he’ll come back without clear signs from him is keeping you in a cycle of pain and uncertainty.

The healthiest thing you can do for yourself and for your daughter is to focus on healing and moving forward. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship, but start building a life that doesn’t depend on him returning. Set boundaries around contact, protect your emotional well-being, and redirect your energy into your daughter, yourself, and your own happiness. Waiting for someone who has chosen distance can prevent you from finding stability and joy in your life now.

[Member]

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