[sunshine]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few years now. The problem? He’s a complete loser! We were high school sweethearts, and he wasn’t always completely productive in school, but now he’s even worse! He barely works, he still lives with his parents, and he won’t get on with his life! He hangs out with his friends almost all the time. They somehow are getting their lives together, but he won’t! I still love him, but he’s such a little kid. He won’t even get his license still! I love him a lot, and I don’t want to lose him, but he’s unbelievably impossible. I’ve tried to help him; I’ve helped him apply to colleges and get jobs, but he just won’t budge. I’ve talked to him about growing up, and getting on with his life, and he always seems like he really wants to start a life with me, but he’s not willing to put in any effort. I really want to be with him, but he is so lazy that I’m afraid he’ll just hold me down from starting my life.

What should I do? Can I change this behavior? Why is he like this?

[occali]

I waited for someone like this for 6 years… then he left me for another woman! Waiting around won’t get you no where girl.
If he can’t get his act together, he will always be satisfied with mediocre. If he sees you complain enough, he will drop you and find someone who likes his laziness and then you will be heart broken.
So, you either need to accept it and love what you have.
Or you need to make some changes while you are still in control of your own life.
Believe me, nothing is worse than being the one who was broken up with. He will leave you if he knows you feel this way about him and then you will be hurt.
So make a choice now.
Know in the end, your choice was for the best since you thought about it for a while now.
Pray about it.
You will know what to do.
Good luck.

[Ask April Masini]

You’ve outgrown your boyfriend and need to move on. You won’t change him. And you should take a lesson now: you can’t change other people. One of the worst dynamics you can get into in a romantic relationship is trying to change someone. It’s a recipe for disaster. The more you try and the more he doesn’t comply, the angrier you will get, and he won’t want to be with you. He’ll leave you, and you’ll wonder how the heck that all happened!

You can tell him what you like and don’t like. Once. Maybe twice, but that’s really it. After that you become a nag. And he becomes a loser. Do you really want to become Mr. Loser & Ms. Nag?

Face reality. The best thing you can do is to move on. If he really wants to be with you enough to change and win you back, he will. And if he doesn’t, then you’ll forget about him as soon as you’re in a relationship with someone else who has a more mature lifestyle, doesn’t live at home, has a driver’s license and wants to succeed.

Go get ’em, tiger. Get out there and get yourself a winner!

[Author]

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