[exotiq]

The guy I’m dating has displayed all of the traits and characteristics of a man in love and in fact, I have caught him saying it to me when he thought I was asleep…the only thing that worries me is that we’ve only been dating for nearly a month now. I’m feeling that he could be the one too, but I’m afraid of being hurt. What is the time table for a man to fall in love? Is it a red flag if he is falling in love with me too soon? He says that he’s been looking for someone like me for a long time and that I’m the whole package… I’m flattered and scared all at the same time…the pressure to live up to being the “whole package” and all. I once heard that if a man falls in love quickly, that could also mean that he can fall out of love just as quickly. What should I do???

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re right — when things move too quickly in one direction, they could easily move as quickly in the other direction. The timetable I give people is to use the first three months of dating to simply decide if you want to continue dating. This slows things down, but it also gives you both the time to really get to know each other. If you like each other enough to continue dating, use the second three months to decide if you want to be monogamous. I think this timetable, while slow for where you are, is going to help alleviate your anxiety about whether or not he’s the one. Let me know if that helps.

[Member]

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