[Anon]

Hi all;
Well, there’s a girl that me and a bunch of others used to hang out with. She had initially been flirting with me awhile back, but ended up stopping. After going through a rough breakup with someone, she starts dating someone else. She knows she shot me down, so she tried to be nice to me. I threw it in her face, and have regretted it ever since. I realize how much of a jerk I truly was.

All this was back in March. I don’t see her again until July (I hadn’t tried to speak to her or see her in the time between). She was nice to me, we even had a couple of conversations. I saw her again recently, and I brought up the possibility of us hanging out again, to which I got a noncommittal “yeah.”

I do feel really bad about how I treated her, and I want to hang out with her as friends even if nothing ever happens between us. I’m going to try to organize a night out soon. What do you guys think? Is she sincere about being willing to hang out again or is she just faking it?

Let me know if you need more info.
Thanks.

[valxoxo]

well it seems that the relationship she jumped into was a rebound anyway. and when she saw you again in july, she was acting nice and normal. maybe she was a little off and distant when mentioning to hang out because she was still a little hurt or shes playing hard to get. either way you have to play your cards right and be nice and read her emotions and go with them. it seems like the time gap made the comments you made to her a thing in the past, but its still a little reminder. when things like that happen, girls can forgive but we wont forget. so the time helped but if she doesnt seem interested from here on out then wait a little then begin flirting with her. dont jump into things, she might expect that. good luck!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I like the comments [b]valoxo[/b] made. I also think you’re trying to read the tea leaves on the relationship instead of jumping in and acting! 😉 When you try to hedge against rejection by analyzing (and overanalyzing) a situation so you don’t have to act and possibly face rejection, you’re just investing time and energy in “what if” land. 😕 Worst thing that happens is that you’re rejected, and nobody ever died from rejection. 😆 It doesn’t feel very nice, but you can know if she’s not a possibility and move on. Sometimes, depending on the way you’re willing to look at it, rejection is a gift. 😀 So instead of organizing a night with friends, ask her out on a date! Make it something special and nice, and see how she reacts. Her reaction will will allow you to celebrate — or move on. 😉

Let me know how it goes — and if you do write again, please tell me your ages. That always helps with advice. 🙂

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