[maanoo]

Hello,

I’ve been with this girl for 2 years now, for the first year and a half I was unloving and ignoring her most of the time. I was going out with her for a few times and telling her how much I love her and once I return home I would call her and tell her that I don’t love her and break-up with her and after a while I make up with her and re-do the whole thing.

Sometimes I would ignore her calls and don’t call her for a week, even so she still loved me and continued to ask about me and care about me for the whole time.

Recently I came to my senses and realized that I do love her and we’ve been really great with each other and she forgave me for the things that I’ve done to her in the past and we’ve been planning to getting engaged, until a month ago I accidentally discovered that she is talking to another guy.

I did confront her and she was saying that nothing happened between them and that the guy is trying to ruin our relationship until I proved to her that she was talking with him and then she finally said everything.

She was talking with him on MSN and BlackBerry and on the phone and sending pictures of her and webcam and went out with him one time to a restaurant, I even had one chat that they were discussing going out and kissing each other and that stuff, that was like 2 months ago but it did not happen.

She said that she did all this because she knows this guy as he is a family friend and that he knows a lot of things about her family and that she did all this to make him say the secrets about the members of her family.

She said that she didn’t love him and she was considering him as a friend nothing more, and even she spoke with my mother and aunt and explained her fault and that she is really sorry and she would like to make things up and do whatever thing that’s better for me.

She is always telling me that I wanted to tell you about him but she was afraid I won’t accept it, and that she is really sorry and that it won’t happen again.

I am seriously in trouble and don’t know what’s best to do? I need your advice.

Thank you.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

My advice is that you start to take better care of the relationship if this is Ms. Right. Clearly, she’s been flirting with this other guy, but the reality is that you’ve given her good reason to look outside the relationship for love and commitment. If you want her, instead of demanding behavior from her, you have to earn it.

Start treating her like the woman you want her to be, and see if she doesn’t respond.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go.

And in the meantime, I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

Hi April,

I’ve had a lot of time with myself and I’ve finally settled and I’ve chose to continue with her.

While this time, she’s afraid that we might face problems in the future regarding this issue and that we might end breaking up. She says that she feels horrible about what she did and the things she made me go through and that she is not comfortable continuing the relationship.

She says that she still loves me and wants to get back with me but she always remembers what she did and her concerns regarding our future.

I’m talking to her most of the time and trying to relax her and to convince her that it was a mistake and I forgave her and she shouldn’t worry about it as I’ve finally forgave her and do not care about it.

What’s best to do? is it better to continue talking to her and calm her down and tell her that everything will be fine, or just give her some alone time to think about it herself? or what?

I really love her and think that we’re right for each other, What is the best thing to do here April?

Thanks I really appreciate it.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Talking is fine, but actually acquiring some good times together where you both trust each other and enjoy each other will really expand your relationship bank account! 😉 Don’t spend too much time talking. Instead, make sure you treat her like she’s special so she’ll want to be with you and try to enjoy each other so that the relationship is more about being together and less about [i]talking about[/i] being together.

Let me know if that helps!

See you on Twitter @AskAprilcom and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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