[fusePoulsorry]

I’m currently 14(nearly) and have been constantly bullied for nearly 2 years. It all started when I went to secondary school. The first month or so were ok, I had my best friend, made a couple of new friends everything was going fine, until a group of boys in my year group started to pick on me because I had braces and talked with a lisp, they made fun of my voice, shouted abuse at me whenever I tried to respond and threw food and hard sweets at me(which left me a painful lump on my head). I’m generally a shy person and don’t talk much, but my best friends(or former best friends) are really confident, outgoing and aren’t afraid to speak their mind, so they started to become popular and make other friends who automatically didn’t like me and thought I was a shy wierdo and gradually more and more people started to judge me as a freak and dislike me. My parents are from a different country so my name isn’t a common one, and that has been one of the major targets when people pick on me. I am SICK of people walking past me, or sitting next to me, saying my name in a wierd/funny voice and talking to me as if I was a 5 year old!!!!!!!! When I had an account on MSN, people from school used to post abuse too(cyberbullying). People have also called me fat and ugly because i have large hips and thighs. I started to self harm myself last year, slitting my wrists with sewing scissors and deliberately sticking a toothbrush down my throat and throwing up out of depression and not wanting to go to school. I even have problems with some older people, saying they knew me from when I was like 7 years old at primary school and they make fun of me(as usual). When I accidentally left my school planner in a classroom, I went to get it back at reception and found it broken, ruined and graffitied with the most threatening insults, such as “dirty fat slut, go back to your own country” By the start of this school year, the bullying had started again(even though my head of year last year had spoken to some of the pupils who were bothering me) and has gotten worse throughout the year. I now have no friends(the only ones I had have now become popular and ditched me) am still getting lots of bullying and abuse and one of my former friends has now started to turn particularly nasty. My parents have spoken to my current head of year, tutor and as many teachers as possible, but nothings changed and the bullies still continue. in short: almost the whole year group and possibly many other students hate my guts and think I’m just a quiet geek who likes classical music and studying and I’m strongly hurt by this because I’m NOT any of those things, just because i’m good at schoolwork doesn’t make me a geek, classical music annoys the crap out of me and I can be loud and talkative when I want to, but if i try that in school people just roll their eyes at me, look at me wierdly or whisper abuse. I tried to be friends with these girls who I thought were nice to me, but every time I try to sit with them, talk or hand around with them, they run away as if they think I’m stalking them when i’m just trying to be friends. So at break or luchtime, I just wander round the school alone sick, and sad. I REALLY BADLY wanna get homeschooled but my parents won’t let me 🙁. Is there a way I could easily get taught at home and still do all my G.C.S.E’s in future because I am sick of getting uncontrollably abused at school(not just one person but many people targeting me) and I don’t want to ruin my education, so I really want to find out if it’s possible to be taught at home by someone, and if possible, what’s the best option.

Female, 14, U.K

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, remember what you already know: you are in the right and these bullies are in the wrong. I know that doesn’t help when you’re a teenager and peers are so important and prevalent, but I want you to remember what is right and what is wrong because that will give you strength to get through this.

Second, you need to tell your parents that the pain of the bullying is so bad that you are cutting yourself and resorting to anorexia because your life is out of control and you are hurt, deeply. You have a lot of intelligence that parents and other adults may mistake for super human strength. They need to remember that intelligence has nothing to do with emotions and being a teenager, as you are, is one of the most vulnerable ages for anyone to go through. My guess is that you’re presenting strength because you think that’s what you need to do to make them proud of you. My advice is you present honesty and pain. Let them know how far this has gone. Let them know that while you appreciate their intervention — [b]it is not enough. [/b] Don’t be afraid to cry and break down in front of them. Sometimes honesty and an honest display of emotions is the best strength you can have. If they don’t know the depth of the problem, they can’t help you.

Third, find art and literature that embraces the outsider. There are wonderful books and movies where people like you become great heroes because they endure pain and find tools to endure, fight back and emerge triumphant. Your path in life won’t be like other people’s paths. You have to be creative — and you have enough intelligence and creative talent (I can tell from your post) to do this.

Fourth, spend some of your time as a volunteer for people less fortunate than you. There are clinics and hospitals for elderly, infirm and indigent that need volunteer help. There are suicide hotlines that need teenage volunteers and animal shelters that could use your help. You may have a political interest and politicians are always looking for free help! In other words, branch out and find ways to be useful to those people who need and want you. 😉

Please stay in touch and let me know how things go. You can do this — but you have to be honest with those who love you. 😀

I know you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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