[bella2550]

There’s this guy I can’t get off my mind, lets call him Max. Max and I used to stay up till past 1am every night texting, joking, flirting, telling stories, etc. One day he started acting weird and stopped texting me completely. When I saw him at school, he would ignore me, look away after eye contact and turn red. I had no clue why he did this, I thought we were developing a solid relationship, even if he didn’t like me in a romantic way, we were really great friends. He would read my messages and not respond. One day, after I sent him a funny pic, he responded with a funny gif and then said something out of character. He said, “Will you go to prom with me?” Me, being the idiot I am responded with a “Haha Max, that’s not funny.” He went on to say stuff like “I’m straight up” and “Will you smash at prom?” He never used to say stuff like that so I thought someone must have taken his phone and was playing a prank on me. Well, he claimed that it wasn’t him and we got in this argument cause he wouldn’t tell me who it was. We haven’t talked in months. Recently, I found out that my sister, who resembles me very much, had sex with one of his friends around the same time he stopped talking to me. Could he have thought that was me? If the guy used her last name to talk about his “experience” Max could have thought it was me and that would explain him being angry and the comment about smashing. Should I apologize for the argument? Should I straight up ask him if he thinks I am my sister? What do I do, I really like this guy.

[Cindy98]

Bub, If you really are so concerned and can’t get this thing off your mind, then I think you should ask him what’s up and why hasn’t he been talking to you. I am not talking about texting. You need to face him and clear this shit out. Also, bringing that sister thing doesn’t seem to be a good idea.

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like he’s hurt that you rejected him. 😳 What happened next is less important, but it’s what you’re focused on. I think you should stop “picking at the scab” that is this misunderstanding, and instead, if you can, try to get back to the relationship you had with him that led up to prom. If it’s not too late, tell him you’d love to go with him — if you do — and that you were really silly for saying you didn’t want to go, but that you got nervous and it just came out. You may get rejected, but you may not and you may get things back on line. Bottom line, his bruised ego is what’s led to his cutting off from you. 😉

[Sally]

You don’t actually know why he pulled away. The sister theory could explain some things, but it’s still a guess. And guessing is what’s keeping you stuck. What is clear is that instead of talking to you, he shut down, avoided you, and let things blow up into silence.

You didn’t do anything wrong by being confused or defensive. Anyone would’ve been. You can send one calm message if it helps you not to fix it, just to clear the air. Something simple, no apologies for things you didn’t do.

But also know this: someone who likes you but won’t talk to you isn’t ready for a real connection. And that hurts, but it’s important.
If he responds, you’ll learn something
If he doesn’t, that’s an answer too.

[Tara]

This guy did not disappear because of some mistaken-identity fantasy involving your sister, that’s your brain desperately trying to turn rejection into a mystery so it hurts less. He didn’t know what he wanted, got overwhelmed, acted immature, and chose avoidance instead of communication. When someone likes you and respects you, they don’t ghost you, ignore you in public, read messages without replying, or let months pass in silence. Period. His weird prom texts, crude comments, and refusal to clarify anything weren’t signs of hidden feelings they were signs of emotional immaturity and poor boundaries. You didn’t “ruin” anything by questioning him; healthy people don’t fall apart because you ask for clarity.

And no, do NOT apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. Apologizing now would just tell him that you’re willing to accept confusion, disrespect, and silence just to keep him in your orbit. Asking him if he thought you were your sister would be humiliating yourself for a guy who hasn’t shown you basic decency in months. If he wanted to clear things up, he already would have. He hasn’t because he doesn’t want to deal with it.

You like the version of him that existed during late-night texting, not the real version who shuts down, disappears, and leaves you spiraling. The real version is the one you should believe. Let this go, not because you don’t care, but because you deserve someone who doesn’t make you feel confused, small, or disposable. Closure doesn’t come from him it comes from you deciding that this level of behavior is beneath you.

[Member]

Posts