[brokenhearted]

My fiancee and I have been together for about 2 years now, and living together for about a year. He is unhappy with his employment (his 3rd job in the time we have been together), angry and stressed all the time, sick ( literally has a condition called branchial cleft cysts which causes pusfilled lumps to form in his neck and ooze and bleed and makes him physically ill constantly), and we seem to fight all the time now. I love him very much, but I feel like he is making excuses for why he doesnt like his job, he never seems to like any job, he thinks I am forcing him to go work so I can stay at home all day and “lay around” (I am currently unemployed, but actively looking). I know he is sick and in pain but my point is you can’t just quit when things get hard. Am I being too demanding? Should I just let him jump from one job to the other? I want him to find a job he is content with and stick with it. We are on the verge of breaking it off, but I really don’t want that…I just want us to be happy again. Any advice is appreciated.

[AskApril Masini]

You need to stop demanding he stay at one job. In fact, you need to take a step back and look at who he is, who you are, and decide if you’re really compatible. ❓

It sounds like his physical condition is chronic and that his job jumping has existed the entire time you’ve known him, and possibly prior to your knowing him. It’s a recipe for disaster when women try to make men different than who they are by demanding and requiring.

My advice is to focus on your own unemployment and put your energy there instead of on his job jumping. If you continue the fighting, you’re right. You will break up. This is a low point and you have to get through it so stop harping on him and focus on you. Practice the old tenet: If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything. Gently encourage him to get help for his physical condition and all the while, decide if this is someone you really want to marry.

I hope that helps, and that you’ll let me and everyone here know how it goes. And that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]

[kristielee]

i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years now.. he just come to me this week an told me he feels like he needs to be with the mother of his child.. his daughter is three years old. but he says he wants me to remain apart of his life but he wants me not to be in the public eye.. he says he cant imagine me nobeing apart of his life.

[AskApril Masini]

Hi, [b]kristielee[/b]. I’m glad you’re here — and I think you’re new. For future, please start a new post for your questions that have nothing to do with someone else’s’ instead of replying with your question to another person’s, as you have here.

But since you’re here, let me answer you! If your boyfriend of three years wants to leave you and be with the mother of his child, who happens to be three years old, you have to understand that he’s trying to be a good father and do the right thing. Because you got involved with a man who had a newborn with someone else, you ran the risk that this was going to happen. 🙁 Whenever you date a single parent, his (or her) ex with whom he has children with is ALWAYS going to be part of his life — and yours, too. In this case, he wants you to duck into the closet so she doesn’t know he’s with you on the side.

This isn’t a good situation for you, and frankly, it isn’t a good one for him, either. If he’s decided to be with his daughter and her mother and to give their family a shot, then he should do it full on without distraction (you). You need to recognize that the best thing for you is to move on and find someone who is going to be there for you as Mr. Right.

I’d suggest you read my book, Think & Date LIke A Man, that you can purchase at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or right here at this link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. It’s a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. You’ll learn a lot to make your life better.

I hope this helps — and I’m sorry this is tough for you. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom (no dot) on Twitter, and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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