[jhayward]

Okay, so I got a new job a month ago, and have become quite fond of this girl working there. Trouble is, the only time I get to see her is when we are at work together, which is only a few days a week, and due to the busy environment there is not much time for chatting. To make things worse, she is leaving for a new job in a few weeks.

I like her and we get along well, and due to the limited time left I want to make something of this, however I don’t want to be too forward as I haven’t known her that long.

We work in a small coffee shop (so taking her out for coffee seems redundant), and we never have breaks at the same time. We rarely finish at the same time either so asking to do something after work is difficult.

The only consolation here is that her new job is in the same area as me, however it is work in a college, so I can’t just pop in to see her.

Some advice would be much appreciated!

Thanks.

[Ask April Masini]

If you can’t ask her out face to face, get her phone number, then call her up and invite her to a movie or to go to the beach, or to walk in the park on a weekend. 😉

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[jhayward]

Thanks for the advice, it’s just getting some time alone to ask her which is also a problem, where we work is very busy and we are rarely alone together.

[Ask April Masini]

It sounds like you’re looking for excuses not to get her number or ask her out on a date. 😥 Dating and relationships are competitive, and if you want to win — whether it’s a a woman other people find attractive, a date, or simply a phone number, then you have to put on your “can do” attitude! If you can’t get her phone number, then prepare for regrets — and that’s no fun! In this day and age of social media, there are tons of ways to contact people. Face to face is obviously best, and a phone call where she can hear your voice is also good. But in lesser case scenarios you can text her for her number, e-mail her for her number, contact her through social media (not great, but it’s an option), etc. Decide if you really want to date her or not, and if the answer is yes, then go get her number!! 😉

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[Ethan Morales]

The key issue here is opportunity and initiative. You like this girl and want to explore something before she leaves, but the constraints of work different shifts, busy environment, and no common breaks are making it difficult to connect naturally. This is a common challenge in workplace settings, especially small or busy environments, but it doesn’t mean a relationship is impossible. It just requires some creative effort and decisiveness on your part.

April Masini’s advice is solid: the first step is to get her contact information outside of work. Without that, you’re leaving the outcome entirely to chance. Asking for her number doesn’t have to be complicated or forward you can frame it as wanting to keep in touch since she’s leaving, and then follow up with a casual invitation like a walk, a coffee outside work, or a casual weekend activity. Even if it feels slightly rushed, showing interest proactively is better than waiting until she’s gone.

The bigger picture is about mindset and confidence. Relationships require risk and initiative, especially early on. If you truly like her, you need to act before she leaves; hesitation or overthinking will likely result in regret. Once you have her number, a phone call or text can create a natural bridge to spending time together outside work. The key is to act decisively and respectfully, showing interest without pressuring her this is the kind of approach that increases your chances of success.

[Tara]

You barely know her. You’re not building some epic romance in a coffee shop; you’re either going to make a move or watch her walk out the door and spend the next six months replaying “what if.”

You’re acting like logistics are the problem. They’re not. Your hesitation is. You don’t need perfect timing, matching shifts, synchronized breaks, or the planets to align. You need to open your mouth and ask her out like an adult. “Hey, I’ve enjoyed talking with you. Want to grab a drink sometime?” That’s it. Not complicated. Not poetic. Just direct.

She’s either into it or she’s not, but at least you’ll know. Right now, you’re trying to engineer the most risk-free scenario possible because you’re scared of rejection. That’s what’s actually holding you back.

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