[laksmi]

Hi April, first of all i want to thank you for your help. It’s been a while since I follow your tips and read your articles, they’ve been quite helpful.

I’d like to hear your opinion about an experience I had, I’ve always been surrounded by boys/men so I think I have a good idea on how they think/act. I met this guy online, we went for a coffee at 1st, talked a lot, we both like to play pool so he suggested we should play, he taught me a trick or two… I was having so much fun I had forgotten about a meeting I had but I thought to myself “I deserve this, I deserve to have fun every now and then” (at that moment I was under great stress and it was nice to have my head somewhere else) so, I skipped that meeting and we went for drinks after, the evening was fantastic, we totally hit it off, we ended up controlling the jukebox and singing loudly in the bar, we were joking and I even made him get into the ladies room to take a piss! While no one was watching (the male’s room was further). Anyhow, they were closing the bar, it was like 1am and he suggested to drop by his place, it was quite close… tho, I had a blast I was hesitant because I’m not the kind who does anything at all at the 1st date but I was terribly curious about the taste of his lips and did want a more private moment with him so, I got there… he showed me his studio, I’m a music lover so he told me to play any kind of music I wanted, at this point I was sitting at the desktop looking for the music while he was sitting in the couch, we talked some more, had a great laughter until he stood up came closer, held my hand and took me to the couch to lay close to him, we talked some more until the so wanted kiss arrived and it was AWESOME! We had a long kissing session until the thing was getting way too hot and I decided that I had to make it stop, not because I didn’t like it but because it was too fast for me, he was very gentle and passionate but it’s just not in me to go that far with someone I just met so, I may have been a little too cold when I told him I had to go, “it’s really late, I have to work early” (which wasn’t even a lie, I had an appointment at 7.30 am that day so, I felt like I had already skipped my responsibility earlier and it didn’t feel right to it twice). He was obviously turned on and he gave me this “please stay” bright puppy eyes I had to struggle to say “no, let’s go”… I remember saying: “don’t expect anything from me”. As we were walking by to take the taxi, he said: “I was just very… we could just kiss, you know” I said: “yeah… nooo”. (I had so many things running in my head at that moment that I kept my words to a minimum) We got to the avenue waiting for the taxi and he said: “you’re a great kisser” and I was just able to say: “Thank you!” (when I felt I should have said: you’re too, you taste like honey) I wasn’t even able to look at him. Then I just said: “do you hate me now?”, he said: “No! I was just very, very excited” as he sighed. Then I stopped the cab and I saw his eyes lost in a: “why” I gave him a quick hug and soft kiss on the lips and got in. He paid for the taxi.
When I got home I see my phone, there’s a message from him saying: “I hope you arrived home well, I enjoyed our day a lot”, as I replied: “Thank you, I did too… I had a blast! Good night, sleep tight”

So, that was the 1st and only time I have seen him. Around 10 days after I wrote him and he told me he got injured and that he’s been on bed since then, explained to me what happened and said that “we should fuck up their jukebox again. Let me know so we can arrange something”, I said: “sure! But you must recover first… if there’s anything I can help you with, let me know”. Then, about 12 days after that texting I just sent him a: Greeting, asking him how he was doing with his back, etc and he said: “Hi ! how are you? I’m getting better, thank you. I’ll be gone to the US tomorrow for a week. See you after, shall we?” and I’ve not heard from him since then. He works for an agency in NYC so he travels back and forth, I’m in Mexico. It’s been over a month since that last message.

Anyway, I know that if he were interested he would have written to me already so, I should take by now that he’s not. I considered myself a confident and genuine woman and I know I have a strong personality, my real question is, is there a way he may have felt emasculated by the way I reacted? I’d like to hear other points of view and what you think of it.

By now I just think I should have thanked him for the wonderful evening and that it’s very likely it may just remain as a beautiful memory. I keep on dating nowadays, it does keep your mind busy but sometimes you can’t help to wonder what happened…

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s just not that into you. 😕 Pretty simple.

My advice is to move on. It’s great to have a lot of fun, and that’s all good — but if you want a boyfriend, and you want to focus on that, then give him something to chase after, so you know how interested he is. 😉

Hope that helps!

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