[Anonymous]

My boyfriend & i are expecting a son in 4 weeks. He used to text me all the time telling me how much he loved me, you know, the cute stuff. But he used to always be like that. He lost his finger last June and we were both stuck at home, just sitting on our butts getting on each others nerves for a month straight. Nothing has been the same since then. We’ve had our fights and I’ve moved out & when I did, it’s like all of a sudden he wanted to see other girls, but still be with me. (I moved back in now) He has had to delete his facebook account because of telling other women they are “gorgeous, hot, sexy… etc.” Why can’t he show me the affection that he used to? I feel like I’m wonderful to him. I massage his back & feet when he asks, i give him all the sex he wants even though being pregnant, its kinda hard in ways. I cook and clean for him all the time and he always has clean clothes & I have never lead him to believe I wanted to be with another man. We are both very jealous people also. We can never go to public together, and we never do anymore, without him constantly pushing my buttons. I have to tell him a million times to stop doing something before i get pissed and he finally stops. I have our son in my belly, I don’t need him to be a baby as well. He is very excited about our son soon arriving, but does he still have love for me? He tells me all the time he loves me, but when i ask him why he’s not “lovey-dovey” to me anymore, he says “because i feel like when I say it, you don’t care or respond back.” But that’s a total lie because I tell him everyday how much he means to me. Also, I used to smoke an illegal drug, but I was not addicted to it, and he would always ask me to quit, so i did for him. He smokes cigaretts & when I ask him to quit, he says “You can’t change a person!” But I think it’s fair if I had to change something I did a long time ago, I believe He should give a little also. I just feel like I give him my all and he only gives me a little. What do I say to him??? I understand that he is an only child, only grandchild, so he is used to bein spoilt and gettin everything he wants, which i do for him. But when should I stop makin excuses for myself and realize I want to be loved to?!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

When your man stops doing what he used to do, the first thing I’d ask you is what have YOU stopped doing? ❓ Long term relationships take work, and maintaining them doesn’t just happen magically. It sounds like you’re doing cooking, cleaning and having sex with him, but are you still being alluring? (I know you’re pregnant, but do you still put on make up and perfume? Do you keep up your grooming habits?) Men want to feel special and when you make him feel special, he’s going to start treating you specially.

Also, remember that you’re BOTH going through a transition and he may be worried and even frightened about becoming a father. There are things men go through as they become first time fathers that it’s hard for women to understand, so rather than blaming him, open up the communication and ask him how he’s feeling about being a father, and what his hopes and dreams are for your son.

I hope that helps! Let me know how things go — and good luck on the birth of your child! 😀

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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