[samusaran253]

Alright, so I was talking to this woman online for a few weeks. And then like 5 days ago we exchanged pics, turns out she’s ugly, but you know me, I’m a nice guy, I told her she looks fine. I then messaged a couple of my compadres on the BioWare Social Network and asked them wtf I should do, since she lied to me, she said she was hot. Well word got out that I called her ugly, and she found out. Then she sent me a bunch of messages calling me very hateful things and how I made her cry and everything. Well a couple days after that, I tried to apologize to her, because I feel really bad about hurting her feelings. She then said that she doesn’t want to talk to me. Then she blocked me. Just because she’s ugly doesn’t mean we can’t be still be just friends. Please give me advice on what I should do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, there’s a difference between little white lies and full blown lies. A little white lie is meant to protect someone’s feelings while still distancing yourself from them. When you saw her picture and decided she was ugly, you told her she looked fine. 😮 Big mistake. Big lie. That would have been the moment to use a little white lie and tell her that while she’s very attractive, you really have a thing for red heads, and since she’s not a red head, you don’t want to waste her time any more. I mean, you could say something [i]like that[/i] in order to not call her your type and to also not call her ugly, but instead to just let her know that she’s not your cup of tea — if you know what I mean! 😉 That would have completely taken care of the problem.

The next place you got into trouble, where you can learn to make an adjustment, is gossip. Locker room talk is fine when it stays in the locker room, but when you told your buddies that you thought she was ugly, and then they spread the gossip, the truth got back to you via her. It would have been better not to tell so many people that you thought she was ugly. If you need to vent, pick one best buddy. And choose a buddy who has enough integrity not to gossip.

Now she’s furious at you, but you think she doesn’t want to be friends because she’s ugly! 😯 She doesn’t want to be friends because you lied to her and then you gossiped about her. AND you called her ugly. She’s got a good point!

Let this one go — you’re not going to get her to change her mind. But you can change your own behavior so you don’t find yourself in this pickle again.

I hope that helps! Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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