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I Bee-Lieve

I’m scared to tell my partner I want kids, he says he never will

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  • #44960
    Gregory D. Helfrich
    Member #382,606

    We’ve been together for five years. I love him deeply, but there’s one thing we can’t agree on — children. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, and he’s always said he doesn’t want kids. At first, I thought he might change his mind, but he’s firm.
    We have a great relationship otherwise, but I can’t ignore this forever. and I know time matters. He says I should “focus on us” and not “society’s expectations,” but this isn’t about society — it’s something I’ve always dreamed of.
    Is love enough when two people want completely different futures?

    #45867
    PassionSeeker
    Member #382,676

    In the end, it’s about assessing what you truly want. Do you prioritize love and companionship over becoming a mother? Or is motherhood a non-negotiable part of your happiness? You might need to decide which is more important staying with him or following your own dream of becoming a mom. It’s an incredibly difficult choice, but love doesn’t always resolve every difference, especially when it comes to deeply personal values.

    #45869
    Ask April Masini
    Keymaster

    There’s a lot more to building and keeping a healthy relationship than just love. One of the biggest factors is shared values. In your case, the two of you don’t share the same ones, in fact, your values are complete opposites. What does that tells you?

    #45877
    Ethan Morales
    Member #382,560

    This one is deeply heartbreaking because it’s not about a lack of love, it’s about a clash of life visions. You can love someone completely and still realize you’re walking toward two different destinations.
    Here’s what stands out:
    You’ve been together for five years, and this isn’t a new disagreement it’s a fundamental difference in values and dreams. The fact that you’re “scared to tell him” shows how much emotional weight this holds. It’s not a small issue like where to live or what career path to take; it’s about the shape of your entire future.

    He’s clear about not wanting kids, and that clarity, while painful, is actually honesty. What often hurts people most in situations like this isn’t disagreement it’s hoping someone will change when they’ve already told you who they are. You’ve been holding space for a possibility that may never exist, and that’s quietly wearing you down.

    Your dream of motherhood isn’t selfish or societal it’s authentic. You’re allowed to want that. It doesn’t make you old-fashioned or impatient; it makes you human. Love shouldn’t demand that you bury something so core to who you are.
    In truth, this isn’t a question of whether love is enough it’s a question of whether love can survive when your deepest life needs can’t coexist. Sometimes, love means being brave enough to choose the path that honors your future self, even if it breaks your heart in the present.

    Can I ask you do you feel like he truly hears your desire for kids, or does he dismiss it as something you’ll “get over”?

    #45887
    Val Unfiltered💋
    Member #382,692

    ugh babe… that’s the heartbreak no one glamorizes, when love’s real but the values isn’t aligned. 💔 you can’t manifest a baby out of compromise. he’s not wrong for not wanting kids, and you’re not wrong for wanting them. but one of you will end up resenting the other and that’s slow poison. love’s amazing, but it’s not a substitute for life goals. if motherhood’s in your bones, don’t shrink it for a man who can’t meet you there.. 💅

    #45964
    Nina A
    Member #382,681

    You can’t build a life together when your dreams point in opposite directions.

    Love can be deep and real, but it can’t erase core truths. Wanting children isn’t a passing whim; it’s a vision for the kind of life you hope to live. The same is true for someone who doesn’t want them, that choice carries equal weight. When two people love each other but want different futures, the conflict isn’t about compromise, it’s about identity.

    If you silence your longing to keep the peace, resentment will grow in the quiet spaces between you. And if he forces himself into fatherhood, the same grief will live in him. Sometimes love isn’t enough to bridge a fundamental difference, and admitting that is an act of courage, not failure.

    You deserve a life that aligns with your truth. The right partner won’t make you shrink your dreams to fit theirs.

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