[Dre21]

Me and my girlfriend just recently broken up, we were together for 2 years and everything was great in the beginning until one night she went out behind my back with a guy she worked with and ended up getting drunk and the guy took advantage of her (pretty much raping her.) she did the right thing of telling me. I was so angry I wanted to kill the guy but didn’t and I didn’t do any type of revenge, It was hard for me being a man and feeling like a punk and that he disrespected me but I’m a religious person and the bible says “leave revenge to me”. We broke up for while but I decide to forgive her and give her another chance. I always had my doubts did she really get taken advantage of or is that something she’s just telling me so I could take her back. To make a long story short I forgave her but never forgot. After that happen it was pretty much a year of not trusting her and jealousy which brings us to our point now of being broken up. Whenever she would go out I would call and text her to check in on her. I was never ok with her having male friends after that I was always jealous. We had many fights about trusting her and she kept forgiving me until now she was just done I think she believes now that I would never change. Right now we are both having financial problems and family issues we have talked and she said “I don’t trust that you have changed and even if I do I don’t want to be with you right now” she said she wants to be single she doesn’t want to be committed to anyone right now she wants to see if she can get through this hard time on her own. Her best friend told me that she told her that “I know I will get back with him eventually but right now I want to be alone”. I’m so confused right now I don’t know what to do. I have realized how such a great girl she is and I don’t want to lose her, it took this to shock me I don’t want to lose her. How do I show her I’ve changed, and what do I do since she wants to be alone right now?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

There is nothing to be confused about if you just listen to her and respect her actions. She’s being very clear that she doesn’t want to be with you right now. I know you don’t want to hear that, so you’re looking for any glimpse of contradiction that may make you think you stand a shot. By listening to gossip (her friends telling you what she feels and thinks) instead of directly to her, you’re confusing yourself. Don’t.

You have no choice but to give her the space she wants, but in the meantime, you can show her you’ve changed — BY ACTUALLY DOING SO! It may not win her back, but then again it may — and more. And by more — I mean, you may start attracting other terrific women, which is always something that turns a woman’s head. If she sees you getting other great girls, she’s going to be more interested in you than she is now.

Read my book, Date Out of Your League, written for men who want [i]to get the girl[/i]. You can download it here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. It’s a great read and you can finish it by the weekend and start your new you campaign.

I hope that helps and that you feel better having read this. Check out my Facebook page, and join me there, too. Here’s the link: [url][/url] — I hope to see you there! 😀

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