It sounds like there are two issues here: The first is that your wife made out with a guy when the two of you were first dating. It sounds like you weren’t married when she made out with this guy, and you weren’t a serious couple when she went out with this guy. She was playing the field until the two of you became serious about each other, and during that time, she made out with this guy who she hasn’t seen since. Given that scenario, I don’t think you should make a big deal out of seeing this guy. Sometimes, when you give a situation a lot of energy, it takes on more importance than it’s worth. You were BOTH invited to this event, as a couple, and with other people there, so I don’t think you should feel threatened by her past make out session with this guy before the two of you were dating seriously or even married. It’s not like only she was invited or it’s just she and this other guy. Sometimes we all run across old boyfriends or girlfriends and it’s an opportunity to redefine and strengthen your relationship with your wife. I don’t think you should make a big deal out of this. 😉
However…. it sounds like your wife has a history of lying to you, and that is a real relationship problem. 😳 When someone is a chronic liar, there’s not a lot you can do to get them to change. In fact, you’re the one who has to change YOUR behavior when you’re with someone who consistently lies. I think that you’re trying to punish her for lying by not going to this party where an old fling will be present — but the punishment you’re trying to impose, doesn’t fit the crime, so to speak. It’s not this guy or the kissing that’s the problem in your marriage. It’s the fact that she has a history of lying. I don’t think that your not going to the party is going to cure that problem. 🙁
I hope this helps you figure out what to do next. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].
