[howardj04]

I have been dating this guy that i met on Tinder for 5 months. I have never been with a man that gives me so much attention and treats me with complete respect. I also have 2 kids by 2 different men and he does not judge me at all. There are 3 things that I continue to have questions about but he has yet to put those questions to rest. One- He was friends with a co-worker that has now professed her love to him, she has sent him nude photos and all though he has never done anything sexual at all with this girl, he told her that she turned him on with the photos, she is not attractive at all. Once he distant himself from her she is now telling him that she is contemplating suicide, which i think she is only saying to get attention from him. 2nd-a few months ago he was on the phone with his ex girlfriend from 10 years ago, not a problem but he lied about who she was not knowing that I put two and two together and he finally confessed who it was but said he has no interest in her and still consider to be friends even though they only speak every couple of years, he even talked about traveling to go see her. Problem is he has not been in a relationship since he has been with her meaning hes been single for 10 years. Recently I saw where he sent her a text message of an attachment of a song that is called “Reminisce” which the title is self explanatory. 3rd- It seems like now the connection between us is slowly decreasing, we don’t really go out, make plans but don’t follow through, he doesn’t do the sweet things that he did before, bring gifts to my job etc. It just really seems as if he is losing interest in me and now that I have heard the song that he sent her(which she didn’t respond) it has me questioning if he cant let her go and is changing the way he is with me because he has been thinking about her. I’ve talked to him about our connection diminishing (he doesnt know that I know about the song that he sent her) and he just tells me he thinks or hes sure that hes still interested(which is definitely not a confirmation) and that he just has a lot of stuff on his mind which he has yet to divulge to me. I really do trust him, I just know that he is so nice that he will say or do anything to not hurt my feelings but I want to know whats going through his head without me having to look in his phone. Am i just being paranoid or is my intuition exactly where it needs to be?

[AskApril Masini]

How old are you both?

[howardj04]

I am 28 and he is 30.

[AskApril Masini]

Got it. Thanks.

You’re a 28 year old single mother of two, and this 30 year old single guy you met on Tinder appears to be interested in other people — after 5 months of dating you, and you feel that he’s losing interest in you. I think you should trust your intuition. 😉 I’m sure he was really into you, but the reality of a single mother with two kids, is not for everyone. And it sounds like he’s not up for the responsibility, and is probably not even ready for a commitment. Tinder isn’t a place where people usually find long-lasting, meaningful relationships as much as they find people who want to have fun. It sounds like that’s what he’s into. I’m sure that all the good qualities you say he possesses are true — but he’s also young and not ready for the commitment you possibly are. 😕 Finding compatibility in relationships is crucial, and sometimes it’s hard to see past a guy who’s nice and attractive and is kind to your kids and doesn’t judge your past — to realize whether or not he’s compatible in terms of relationship goals. That said — that’s your mission! 🙂

He’s not your Mr. Right. He’s a nice guy — just not the one for you.

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