"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."
"April Masini answers questions no one else can
and tells you the truth that no one else will."

girlfriend behaving strangely

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  • #6924
    greg2000
    Member #372,590

    my gf and i have been in a commited relationship for like 8 months but recently she started behaving strangely. She is approx. 18 and i am 29 years old.
    Her behaviour is of a jealous type . She always accuses me of cheating whenever i give a compliment to other girls. She also asked for online accounts passwords once but i refused. I once few months ago used the word ” slut ” for her but later apologised and she said she forgave me. Since few months she has been talking less than before and also texting less but she is also working – before she was just a student. Also since few months she doesnt express her anger when i compliment other girls- two months ago she was angry when i was watching some porn.
    Due to my work i am out of the city most of the time. She did ask me to spend more time with her but generally didnt seem angry about it.
    She has a male friend who i dont like very much because he is short in manners- i had a few arguments with him too before. In past she would joke when she would introduce me to him and would say “meet my husband” and also would say he is stronger than u. Two months ago for the first time she said to her her friend that i am his ideal and no joke he wants to be like me. In yhe past Even on online chats they use the words “bud” and “bro” for each other .
    Anyways this male friend of hers visited the city where she lives and they along with some other friends spent time together.
    In an online group chat where she, me and this friend along with some others are present this male friend released some pictures of hanging out with her and asking me are u jealous that i am stealing your girlfriend. I didnt repond much to that comment but few minutes later he released a pics of him and her which seemed like intimate pics of two days ago which they took. I doubted that if this was her in the pic because face was not visible and also dress was diffrent from those hanging out with friends – he said you can see her long hair. See the pics on the below link.He later said that he would upload more pics few days later to make me believe.

    https://s284.photobucket.com/user/xxxgreg1/library/Mobile%20Uploads

    I messaged my gf immediately after that and asked if she cheating – she said no. I also asked if she was still interested in a relationship with me and she said yes she is. Anyways few days later i messaged her again through facebook and asked if i could ask her a question- she said yes but immediately handed her phone to her friend who was present there. He uploaded a selfie in which my gf was holding the camera and he was standing behind her which seemed like a normal pic but his tongue was out of his mouth as if he was showing his tongue to the camera. He also voice messaged and facebook call me through her facebook and i could hear her voice behind saying ” how u doin”. Anyways this selfie which they uploaded seemed like same dress like that in those intimate pic. I understood this was her in the pic and became angry. I talked to her and threatened to dump her then she said it was just a joke but his male friend who i talked with in group chat kept saying no its not a joke. I also asked my gf if she was dating him and she said no and i could ask him myself. I asked her male friend but he didnt answer clearly and said why am i asking.
    One thing which confuses me here is that i havent done anything but still she is behaving as if she is seeking revenge. Girls usually release such photos when they are trying to piss off their ex boyfriend but when i threatened to leave her she said she wants me and those pics arent true and those pics were just a joke. I also asked her to talk to her male friend to make it clear that he is just friends with her and threatened to leave her if she didnt – to which she yes but later didnt do that – i kept on asking again and again but she said that everything is fine and there was no need for her male friend making it clear. I also asked her how she took that pic and was he really on top of you and how close but she didnt answer.
    My question is that is she really trying to seek revenge by sleeping with other guys and piss me off or is she just trying to make me jealous and wants more attention from me by posting pics which suggest cheating but arent true. I usually dont text her daily- i only text her or call her after a few days when i am away because i thought she is also busy working. One question which also bothers me is why would she take such pics of her with a guy she is just friends with ad then releae them publicly in an online group chat where her friends are also present. Her male friend also uploaded that selfie (non-intimate) on his facebook profile and also tagged her in this same selfie in which his tongue is hanging out- due to the tagging that pic can be seen on both her and his profile.
    I did decide in my mind to dump her but i would prefer advice first. Is it okay if i dump her or should i continue the relationship. What if i wanted to make her jealous by spending time with some of my female friends- is that a good idea ?

    #30250
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    It doesn’t sound like she’s very respectful, or even all that into the relationship she has with you. And as you describe it, all I hear are the problems. It doesn’t sound like there’s a lot of fun or even love between the two of you. From everything you’ve written, it seems like you could better — find someone who wants a monogamous, committed relationship — elsewhere. 😉

    I don’t think that age differences are a big deal — but when you say that she’s “approximately” 18 😕 I’m thinking she’s probably 17 — and you’re 29. That’s not so much a big age difference as it is a big life experience difference. Dating a teenager, when you’re almost 30, is going to get you some immature behavior in some cases — which I think you’re seeing here. Maybe look for someone who’s got more life experience, and is more clear on wanting the same type of relationship you want, next time around. 😉

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    #30251
    greg2000
    Member #372,590

    [quote=”April Masini”]It doesn’t sound like she’s very respectful, or even all that into the relationship she has with you. And as you describe it, all I hear are the problems. It doesn’t sound like there’s a lot of fun or even love between the two of you. From everything you’ve written, it seems like you could better — find someone who wants a monogamous, committed relationship — elsewhere. 😉

    I don’t think that age differences are a big deal — but when you say that she’s “approximately” 18 😕 I’m thinking she’s probably 17 — and you’re 29. That’s not so much a big age difference as it is a big life experience difference. Dating a teenager, when you’re almost 30, is going to get you some immature behavior in some cases — which I think you’re seeing here. Maybe look for someone who’s got more life experience, and is more clear on wanting the same type of relationship you want, next time around. 😉

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]
    [/quote]

    Yeah i know she is not a respect giving type as i can see from her recent behaviour – what do you think does this guy has to do with her disrespectful behavior and her growing interest in him ? Do u think she actually cheated or is she just trying to make me jealous or is she trying to seek revenge by pissing me off or is she trying to say indirectly that she is also interested in dating others at the same time .Also is it possible that she is actually dating that guy or is she friends with benefits or just friends with him. What does she actually want from me – she said she doesn’t want me to leave. And yeah she is 18. I would be intertested in knowing about her behaviour so that I can better understand things in my future relationships with anybody. What is your opinion about these issues.

    As far as the character of the guy is concerned he doesn’t seem to be very serious with the girls he hangs out with. My gf’s female best friend was also interested in him and my gf described them as a potential couple few months ago but he didn’t show much interest in that girl. He in my opinion hangs out and flirts with many girls. Even a month before he used to use the word ” bud” for my gf even when they were talking with each other online in some separate chat I am not in.I don’t think he is much serious about my gf – I don’t know for sure what she thinks about . One idea did came in my mind is that she probably has low interest in me and high interest in that guy that is why she took those pics- may be it doesn’t have to do with making me jealous – may be she doesn’t have interest in me and why would she respect anybody she has no interest in. He lives in another city but came to her city for some work and after about three weeks she takes such pics with him- may be it has to do with her growing interest ( one sided) in him after some possible cheating .May be it was his idea to take such pics to piss me off. I dont think she even has that much respect for him because she is openly having a relationship with me too and he knows it. What is your opinion ?

    My girlfriend jokes with me a lot and likes my sense of humour. She has not much complained about the romance either and says that I am very romantic. When I asked her make things clear that she is just friends with him then she said in online group chat with friends( where he was also present ) that he never had a chance and also jokingly said these side hoes should stand on the side.

    Is there any problem in my behavior which compelled her to act like that ? I am asking so that I don’t repeat such mistakes in future with any girl.

    She does lie to me because when I asked her about her ex boyfriend who some mutual friends say was her boyfriend- she said she never dated him.

    #30254
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    [quote]Yeah i know she is not a respect giving type as i can see from her recent behaviour – what do you think does this guy has to do with her disrespectful behavior and her growing interest in him ? [/quote]

    Nothing. I think she is responsible for her own behavior.

    [quote]Do u think she actually cheated or is she just trying to make me jealous or is she trying to seek revenge by pissing me off or is she trying to say indirectly that she is also interested in dating others at the same time .[/quote]

    Does it matter? That was rhetorical. In fact, it doesn’t matter. The bottom line is that she’s not a great match for you.

    [quote]Also is it possible that she is actually dating that guy or is she friends with benefits or just friends with him. [/quote]

    Yes.

    [quote]What does she actually want from me – she said she doesn’t want me to leave. [/quote]

    I don’t know — she’s not the person writing to me. You are. The question should be, what do [i]you[/i] want from a woman in a relationship?

    [quote]And yeah she is 18. I would be intertested in knowing about her behaviour so that I can better understand things in my future relationships with anybody. What is your opinion about these issues.[/quote]

    If you have a specific question, I’m happy to answer it. I’m not sure what your question is, here.

    [quote]As far as the character of the guy is concerned he doesn’t seem to be very serious with the girls he hangs out with. My gf’s female best friend was also interested in him and my gf described them as a potential couple few months ago but he didn’t show much interest in that girl. He in my opinion hangs out and flirts with many girls. Even a month before he used to use the word ” bud” for my gf even when they were talking with each other online in some separate chat I am not in.I don’t think he is much serious about my gf – I don’t know for sure what she thinks about . One idea did came in my mind is that she probably has low interest in me and high interest in that guy that is why she took those pics- may be it doesn’t have to do with making me jealous – may be she doesn’t have interest in me and why would she respect anybody she has no interest in. He lives in another city but came to her city for some work and after about three weeks she takes such pics with him- may be it has to do with her growing interest ( one sided) in him after some possible cheating .May be it was his idea to take such pics to piss me off. I dont think she even has that much respect for him because she is openly having a relationship with me too and he knows it. What is your opinion ?[/quote]

    As I told you before, my opinion is that she doesn’t respect you and isn’t interested in a serious relationship with you, judging from the behavior you’ve written about. 🙁

    [quote]My girlfriend jokes with me a lot and likes my sense of humour. She has not much complained about the romance either and says that I am very romantic. When I asked her make things clear that she is just friends with him then she said in online group chat with friends (where he was also present ) that he never had a chance and also jokingly said these side hoes should stand on the side. Is there any problem in my behavior which compelled her to act like that ? I am asking so that I don’t repeat such mistakes in future with any girl.[/quote]

    The only problem with your behavior is that you’re ignoring the fact that a woman disrespects you and acts in an immature fashion — and you’re hanging in there, waiting for her to change. The opportunity for change is not hers. It’s for you to make changes in your own life. 😉

    [quote]She does lie to me because when I asked her about her ex boyfriend who some mutual friends say was her boyfriend- she said she never dated him.[/quote]

    Why would you want to be with someone who lies to you? Time to move on. 🙂

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    #30257
    greg2000
    Member #372,590

    [quote=”April Masini”][quote]Yeah i know she is not a respect giving type as i can see from her recent behaviour – what do you think does this guy has to do with her disrespectful behavior and her growing interest in him ? [/quote]

    Nothing. I think she is responsible for her own behavior.

    [quote]Do u think she actually cheated or is she just trying to make me jealous or is she trying to seek revenge by pissing me off or is she trying to say indirectly that she is also interested in dating others at the same time .[/quote]

    Does it matter? That was rhetorical. In fact, it doesn’t matter. The bottom line is that she’s not a great match for you.

    [quote]Also is it possible that she is actually dating that guy or is she friends with benefits or just friends with him. [/quote]

    Yes.

    [quote]What does she actually want from me – she said she doesn’t want me to leave. [/quote]

    I don’t know — she’s not the person writing to me. You are. The question should be, what do [i]you[/i] want from a woman in a relationship?

    [quote]And yeah she is 18. I would be intertested in knowing about her behaviour so that I can better understand things in my future relationships with anybody. What is your opinion about these issues.[/quote]

    If you have a specific question, I’m happy to answer it. I’m not sure what your question is, here.

    [quote]As far as the character of the guy is concerned he doesn’t seem to be very serious with the girls he hangs out with. My gf’s female best friend was also interested in him and my gf described them as a potential couple few months ago but he didn’t show much interest in that girl. He in my opinion hangs out and flirts with many girls. Even a month before he used to use the word ” bud” for my gf even when they were talking with each other online in some separate chat I am not in.I don’t think he is much serious about my gf – I don’t know for sure what she thinks about . One idea did came in my mind is that she probably has low interest in me and high interest in that guy that is why she took those pics- may be it doesn’t have to do with making me jealous – may be she doesn’t have interest in me and why would she respect anybody she has no interest in. He lives in another city but came to her city for some work and after about three weeks she takes such pics with him- may be it has to do with her growing interest ( one sided) in him after some possible cheating .May be it was his idea to take such pics to piss me off. I dont think she even has that much respect for him because she is openly having a relationship with me too and he knows it. What is your opinion ?[/quote]

    As I told you before, my opinion is that she doesn’t respect you and isn’t interested in a serious relationship with you, judging from the behavior you’ve written about. 🙁

    [quote]My girlfriend jokes with me a lot and likes my sense of humour. She has not much complained about the romance either and says that I am very romantic. When I asked her make things clear that she is just friends with him then she said in online group chat with friends (where he was also present ) that he never had a chance and also jokingly said these side hoes should stand on the side. Is there any problem in my behavior which compelled her to act like that ? I am asking so that I don’t repeat such mistakes in future with any girl.[/quote]

    The only problem with your behavior is that you’re ignoring the fact that a woman disrespects you and acts in an immature fashion — and you’re hanging in there, waiting for her to change. The opportunity for change is not hers. It’s for you to make changes in your own life. 😉

    [quote]She does lie to me because when I asked her about her ex boyfriend who some mutual friends say was her boyfriend- she said she never dated him.[/quote]

    Why would you want to be with someone who lies to you? Time to move on. 🙂

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    [/quote]

    Thank you. That makes it clear she is not interested in any serious relationship with me or perhaps that guy also. Also I think she doesn’t have any select for me or even that guy that is why she is behaving like a slut with that guy while at the same time doesn’t want to leave me. What is ur opinion ?
    Time to dump her. I made up my mind before to dump her But I preferred advice from u first which I got now.

    Thanks again !

    #30195
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    I think her behavior has to do with eliciting attention that makes her feel good about herself.

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    #30198
    greg2000
    Member #372,590

    [quote=”April Masini”]I think her behavior has to do with eliciting attention that makes her feel good about herself.

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    [/quote]

    I think your opinion is correct because i have seen her flirting with many of her male friends in past without actually dating them or sleeping with them- she is an attention seeker. Yeah she is in search of a therapist who can solve her daddy issues and give her attention. I don’t think she has got any respect for me or even that guy that is why she behaves like flirting with both. In other words she is an attention seeking whore. In my opinion attention seeking whores are not faithful to most people- the only guy an attention seeking whore is faithful to is the one who creates challenges for her and then rewards/punishes her for her behavior.

    #30199
    soundle
    Member #372,578

    You just understand your partner what she want?I think this is good for us. Positive visibility is important.

    #30201
    greg2000
    Member #372,590

    [quote=”soundle”]You just understand your partner what she want?I think this is good for us. Positive visibility is important.[/quote]

    She is an attention seeker that is what she wants. Even surrounded by so many people attention seekers cross the line for seeking attention.

    #30203
    greg2000
    Member #372,590

    [quote=”April Masini”]I think her behavior has to do with eliciting attention that makes her feel good about herself.

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    [/quote]

    Do u think she has an attention seeking type of personality ?

    I talked with her about dumping her. She was shocked and perhaps angry first but later understood that i was protecting myself here. She still wants to maintain contact with me and may be hang out, have sex . Do u think its a good idea ?

    #30205
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to maintain contact after breaking up. It’s a lot harder to respect the break up when you do, and it’s a lot harder to feel single and move on, as well. 😉

    Hope that helps.

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    #30207
    greg2000
    Member #372,590

    [quote=”April Masini”]I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to maintain contact after breaking up. It’s a lot harder to respect the break up when you do, and it’s a lot harder to feel single and move on, as well. 😉

    Hope that helps.

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    [/quote]

    Yes it is not a good idea to continue meeting her.

    Do u think she has the signs of an attention seeking whore type of personality ? what is your opinion. I am asking because I can identify attention seeking whores in future too and not repeat the same mistake with other girls .

    #30208
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    I think you should buy and read [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women. 😉 It has a lot of dating advice in it, and I think it will answer a lot of your questions and provide you with some good dating advice. Here’s the link to buy the book: [url]https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/date-out-of-your-league-april-masini/1016394885?ean=9780974676302&itm=1&usri=9780974676302[/url].

    I hope that helps.

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    #30213
    greg2000
    Member #372,590

    [quote=”April Masini”]I think you should buy and read [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women. 😉 It has a lot of dating advice in it, and I think it will answer a lot of your questions and provide you with some good dating advice. Here’s the link to buy the book: [url]https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/date-out-of-your-league-april-masini/1016394885?ean=9780974676302&itm=1&usri=9780974676302[/url].

    I hope that helps.

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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    [/quote]

    Yes I will read that.

    She always says that she wants to marry me. But as u said she is not being respectful so according to u chances are she is not interested in anything serious. Do u think she tell lies just to keep me interested so that she can get attention from me ?

    Do u think the way she is behaving is more disrespectful than say asking for nude pictures from guys ? I have seen some girls who ask for nudes from strangers but also keep a serious relationship at the same time.

    Also I have heard from some people who were in similar situations that when a girl starts to disprespect you publicly it means it is very much likely that she is about to dump you or at least cheat on you. Is that true in my case ?

    #30216
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    [quote]Do u think she tell lies just to keep me interested so that she can get attention from me ?[/quote]

    Yes.

    [quote]Do u think the way she is behaving is more disrespectful than say asking for nude pictures from guys ?[/quote]

    I think that if someone is being disrespectful in a relationship, trying to figure out gradations of disrespect is a waste of time. Bottom line is that you should move on — you’re stuck. 😕

    [quote]Also I have heard from some people who were in similar situations that when a girl starts to disprespect you publicly it means it is very much likely that she is about to dump you or at least cheat on you. Is that true in my case ?[/quote]

    Could be. Disrespect in a relationship isn’t a great way to build a future.

    Speaking of which…. it’s time for you to buy the book and read it! Now. Today! 🙂 It’s going to help you with all your questions. Here’s the link for [b]Date Out of Your League[/b]: [url]https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0974676306/qid=1075191419/sr=1-1[/url]

    [b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
    [url][/url]
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