[askadvice78]

We met at the club. We were both too drunk and we had sex. After he asked me for my number and I didnt gave it to him. I still dont know why, Sex was amazing and he was very cute, attractive and funny. After several days i knew that i wanted to see him again, but I didnt know how. Then one day (after a week or so) we met accidentally. He said that he was very happy to see me. We talked for a while and then he drove me home. He said he would text me (this time I gave him my number), but he didnt. Then I decided to do it myself. I texted him, that i wanted to see him again and asked if he wanted to see me. He set a date and we met next day. We talked for like 4-5 hours. Then he drove me home again. I wanted him to kiss me, but he didnt. Then I kissed him myself and he was very happy about it. He said he would text me, but he still hasnt. What should I do? Text him myself again? Is he even interested?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you should drop it. He’s not interested. If he was, he’d act like it. 🙁 If a guy has your number and doesn’t use it — and doesn’t ask you out — he’s not interested. It’s just not a match in spite of the one night stand and the random meeting with a long talk following. It’s more difficult to understand that someone isn’t interested when they’re nice and polite. When someone is rude or curt, it’s easier. That’s probably why you’re writing me — you had good sex, you had a nice talk, and he’s a kind person — but the bottom line is he’s not interested. If he was he’d call or text and ask you out. When a guy wants to date you, you’ll know because he will. 🙂 Next!

[Sally]

Mixed signals like that can make anyone spiral a bit.
Here’s what it looks like from the outside. He enjoyed you. That part feels real. He was happy to see you, spent hours talking, and responded when you reached out. But he’s also not stepping up on his own. Saying he’ll text and then not doing it twice matters.
It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Sometimes guys like the connection but don’t feel motivated enough to lead it. Or they keep things light and passive, especially when it started drunk and casual.
You can text him once more if you want clarity. That’s okay. But if he still doesn’t match your effort, believe that. Interest doesn’t stay this quiet for long when it’s real.
Pay attention to how it feels in your body, not just what you hope it means.

[Tara]

He’s just not that interested. Look at the pattern, not the fantasy you’re clinging to. He slept with you drunk. You didn’t give your number. When he finally got it, he didn’t use it. Twice he said, “I’ll text you,” and twice he didn’t. That’s not an accident. That’s a decision.

You did all the pursuing. You reopened contact. You asked for the date. You kissed him. And even after that, he still didn’t follow up. A man who wants you does not need encouragement, courage, timing, or another invitation. He finds a way. This guy found excuses.

Yes, he enjoyed your company. Yes, the sex was good. None of that equals intention. He likes you when you’re directly in front of him and putting in the effort. The moment you’re gone, you disappear from his priority list. That’s not attraction, that’s convenience.

If you text him again, you’re not being confident. You’re advertising that you’ll accept crumbs and chase silence. And once you teach a man that, he will never respect you more, only less.

[Member]

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