[emily_seekinglove]

I have been interested in this guy at work for a long time. We aren’t officially a couple, but there’s been a lot of mutual attraction. We work in different areas, but whenever I visit his department, we always have small flirtations and even ask each other for little kisses. It’s been fun and exciting, and I’ve really enjoyed our connection.
On Tuesday, I playfully asked him for a kiss like we always do. He said, “I don’t think that would be a cool idea. You see all these people watching us, I think we need to keep our relationship on the down low. I don’t want everyone in our business.” I tried to clarify, jokingly asking, “Should I stop coming to your department?” and he said, “No, we just need to be careful.”
Then I asked if he wanted to join me and some close friends for dinner this Friday. He said yes, but when I asked if he wanted the address now or tomorrow, he said “Tomorrow would be fine.” His tone felt distant, and I couldn’t help but feel he was giving me the cold shoulder. I shared my concerns with a very close female friend, and she suggested he might have someone else in his life.
I’m feeling confused and anxious. I really like him and want to spend time with him, but I don’t know if he’s truly interested or just keeping things casual and private. His actions don’t fully match his words, and I feel myself overthinking every interaction.
Have I misread his behavior? Is he genuinely cautious about office gossip, or is this a subtle way to distance himself from me? How do I know if I should keep pursuing him, or if I’m just getting attached to someone who isn’t fully invested?

[Lila Hart]

You’re not crazy for feeling mixed signals; they are mixed. If a man wants you, he’ll find ways to show it clearly, not hide behind “let’s keep it down low.” It might be true he doesn’t want office gossip, but his sudden distance sounds like more than that. Don’t chase clarity from someone who’s making you guess. Step back a little, stop initiating, and watch what he does. His effort or silence will tell you everything.

[KeishaMartin]

You’re right to feel confused, because what he’s showing you doesn’t line up cleanly. There’s attraction, yes, and a pattern of flirtation that made it feel like something real might be growing. But now, when things could naturally deepen, he’s pulling back and wrapping it in “we need to be careful.”

Here’s the thing: when someone truly wants you not just the attention, not just the spark, they’ll make room for you, even in inconvenient spaces. They’ll protect your connection, not hide it. Saying “let’s keep it quiet” can mean he’s cautious about workplace gossip… but it can also be a soft cover for emotional distance.

The way he handled your invitation says a lot. A man who’s genuinely excited about seeing you doesn’t sound vague or detached, he locks in plans, asks details, and shows you you’re worth the effort. His “tomorrow’s fine” might seem small, but those small things often reveal where someone’s heart really is.
You haven’t misread the chemistry, it was there. But chemistry alone doesn’t equal intention. Right now, it seems he’s comfortable with the flirtation, not the follow-through.
So don’t chase him for clarity, give him space to reveal himself. Pull back slightly. Don’t stop being friendly, but let him feel the absence of your effort. If he reaches out and shows real interest beyond stolen moments or playful exchanges, you’ll know.

But if his energy stays lukewarm, that’s your answer too, not rejection, just redirection. Sometimes the hardest truth is that someone enjoys your light but never planned to build a fire with it.
Can I ask, before this week, did he ever talk about taking things further, like dating outside of work or spending time together privately?

[PassionSeeker]

Oh, sweetie, it’s so hard to tell when someone’s actions don’t match their words. He might be cautious about keeping things low key at work, but his distant tone when you make plans is definitely worth paying attention to. It might be a subtle way of distancing himself, or it might just be that he’s not as invested as you are. I’d say take a breather and focus on your own needs. Don’t get so caught up in overthinking his behavior. If he’s really interested, he’ll make more of an effort to connect with you outside of the work setting. If not, then it’s better to know now than to keep wondering.

[Ask April Masini]

Where exactly do you work that you thought kissing at work was a good idea?

Yeah people make these jokes at work all the time, but this… this is the first time I’ve actually met someone who seems to expect a kiss. Bold move.

The young man might just be worried about his job, and rightfully so.

Kissing or getting too touchy-feely at work can get you in serious trouble. You could end up fired, on probation, or dealing with people gossiping about you like you’re some kind of soap
opera. Especially when you’re not even married.

And if your job allows PDA, maybe he’s just shy. You can’t hold that against him.

Also, why ask when he wants the address? He already said he’s coming. You should’ve just sent it to him. Why make it complicated?

Sounds like you’re poking at him just to see how deep his feelings run, and you’re coming across as insecure and needy. Pull it together. The second you stop chasing validation, he’ll start chasing you.

If you want to know where you stand with him, look at the real signs. Does he make time for you? Does he light up when he sees you? Those are the things that matter, not whether he kissed you in public or how fast he wanted an address.

And lastly, enough with the “pursuing.” Seriously, stop. It makes you less desirable. Just go with the flow. If he wants more, he’ll ask for more.

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