[Anonymous]

i’ve been dating a man for three years. i’ve learned quite a bit about him. in year one i had my own apartment (i now live with my mother because i had lost my job but am working on getting back on my own) and he was practically living there. he had a drawer, closet space, and even a key. i felt a little used and i know that some of it was my fault, you get what you tolerate. so i asked if he could help with some of the utility bills. he debated about it and the debate ended the dating. (recent update: he is living with his mother as well because of a condo he has in ohio. we have talked about staying there for the winter recently (which has to be the only BIG thing we’ve planned for the FUTURE). he notified me that i was going to be contributing half to the condo mortgage and utilities if this plan was going to go through.)

two months later we’re giving it another go but this ends too because i have not seen/heard through his actions or words that i’m part of his future. there seems to be a lot of just living in the now. living in the now is great unless you’re a woman who’s looking for marriage and a baby in a baby carriage in the future. he seems to make a lot of decisions based on him and him alone. so we end it again and this time i tell him i can see that he’s not wanting a relationship, at least not one that is on the same page as what i am looking for.

two months later i fall back into it. why has it always been two months? three strikes and i’m done, third time’s a charm, however you wanna look at it…i’m there again. is it crazy of me..aside from the nookie part of a relationship…to look at how a man treats me as a measure of how good of a father he’ll be to our kids? i know my ego is a little blown tonight and i’m writing this being a little bit on the emotional side. i have an ear infection and it has not been a fun week. i am on antibiotics that make me sick and pain meds to make, well, the pain go away. his mother is out of town for a month and i had been sleeping over until i got my ear infection. things got a little bit rough and i decided to stay at home while i got used to the meds and my ear doing whatever its doing. he’s grossed out by the fact and didn’t want me sleeping in his bed spreading germs. i later found out after communicating a bit more he didn’t tell me he didn’t want me over…just not sleeping on his pillow. i’ve already decided based on emotions i wasn’t going over and instead i’m sitting here contemplating whether or not this is the guy for me. am i taking in sickness and in health too far? i would much rather be in the care of the man i care about rather than my mother. when i mentioned some love this is he came back at me saying that i was willing to put his health at risk by exposing him to this ear infection. ouch.

i am 37 years old and am growing tired of this dating crap. after three years i ask him if i have a boyfriend and he gives me a blank stare, but then confuses me with talks about spending at winter in ohio together, oh but i’m covering half the costs to stay up there, he shuns me and my germs out – so is he not going to hug his child if he/she has a runny nose, cold/flu because he’s afraid of risking his health? i think i aired enough dirty laundry for this year. this is my point of view anyway…looking forward to hearing some feedback.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s high time for you to find a man who is Mr. Right — because this guy sure isn’t. He’s made it very clear to you that he’s not offering you a future. However, for some reason you keep trying to fool yourself with this half baked idea that you’ll live together in Ohio — with you splitting the mortgage like a roommate! 😯 This guy is not for you.

Get over your ear infection, get your life together, get a job, move out of your mother’s house and start dating men who may actually be able to give you what you say you want! Get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], and READ IT!! 😆 You’ll get a much better perspective on what you need to do to find a man who wants to marry you and make a family with you. It’s not going to happen, though, unless you change your behavior.

I wish you tons of luck — but you won’t need luck if you read Think & Date Like A Man, and then live it.

I hope that helps — let me know how it goes — and get better! 🙂 And…..check out my community on Facebook at AskApril.com on Facebook here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]!

[Member]

Posts