[Spdbabe]

I am 31 years old dating a leo guy, 29 years old. He was head over heals for me texting all day long, asking how i am, if i’m sick he calls all the time. He made me feel so special all the time and now he just seem to lost all the interest and asks me not to text him all the time, but still wants to know my whereabouts and tells me his locations which match the facebook location too. However i have noticed he is all day long chatting on whats app and refuses to speak to me. He still calls sometimes to chat for a minute or two but know he is always busy at work. We still have sex together on a regular basis. I don’t really think he is cheating on me. He told me that our love will never be the same again because i’ve annoyed him arguing his arguments trying to win him in every accusation he does and because ihe is thinking that i make fun of him infront of his friends. I am trying to show him that he is wrong because he won’t let me confront him or argue with him. He thinks he is always right. So i’m tryong to have a second chance to show him.he is wrong. Do i stand a chance in fixing this relationship? Can i have some tips on how to get this relationship back to what it was how can i show him that i am better than other girls?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How long have the two of you been dating?

[Spdbabe]

Almost 5 months now.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Got it, thanks for the extra information. 🙂

The timeline I give people who are dating is to use the first three months of a relationship to decide if you want to continue dating that person, and during that time, assume he’s playing the field. You can be, too! If you both decide you want to continue dating, which it sounds like you both did, then use the second three months to decide if you want to be monogamous or not. I know this may seem slow, but it gives you a chance to really get to know each other before investing emotionally, and otherwise, too soon, and having drama.

It sounds like he got upset about the arguing the two of you were doing, and because he thinks you don’t respect him when his friends are around. That’s great information if you use it, because you can simply stop arguing, and focusing on being kind and supportive and funny and sexy. 😎 However, it sounds like you really are bothered by what you describe as his “accusations” and trying to “show him that he is wrong”. Maybe you can take a different attitude that is less about right and wrong, and more about being happy together. Stop arguing with him, and be supportive and complimentary to him when his friends are around. And yes — do show him how you are better than others! Thats how you’ll win him over. 😉

If you want to buy [b]Think & Date Like A Man[/b], a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right, the link to do so is here: [url]https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/think-date-like-a-man-april-masini/1104522250?ean=9780595374663&itm=1&usri=9780595374663[/url].

I hope that helps!

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[Spdbabe]

Dear April,

Thanks for your help sounds good however yesterday evening the relationship took another turn. He said that his female friend which i suspected he was texting with on whats app all day long. He told me that he respects her so much that if he saw her anywhere he would talk to her and if she called him saying she needs him he would give her all his help. This gave me a further suspicion that last saturday when he said he was going to see a car and i asked him i could go with him and he said no agressively, the reason behind it was that he was going to meet her instead. I dont think he is cheating with her but i think there is a special bond between them and afraid that if this continues they will probably end up cheating or me loosing him for her. Can you tell me how i can go about this situation?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Time to wake up and smell the coffee! He’s playing the field.

You’ve been dating for five months, and this is really too soon for you to consider that there is monogamy — it’s the six month mark when you usually decide whether or not you’re going to be monogamous, and you’re both still within that time period. He’s looking elsewhere. And he’s letting you know, so you have a head’s up on the status of the relationship.

You have to understand that dating is competitive, and you can’t argue with him and win him over. You have to be the girlfriend he wants more than any other, in order to do so. 😎 Of course, since he’s 29, there’s a chance he’s just not ready to be monogamous, and is more interested in playing the field, no matter what — and in that case, you just have to understand that dating him means dating a man who isn’t ready for a commitment.

The book I recommended you buy and read, [b]Think & Date Like A Man[/b], will give you a lot of tips and advice on how to win men over. You should probably buy it and read it and use it! 🙂 Here’s the link again: [url]https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0595374662/ref=lpr_g_1/102-2178981-9624908?s=ebooks&v=glance&n=551440[/url].

I hope that helps.

[Spdbabe]

could it be that i’m just thinking wrong and he just needs his space to figure out what he really wants because i hurt him? Do i give him time by being there for him but give him some space? We still sleep together and yesterday he told me that he is trying to solv these problem issues in our relationship to try and get it rekindled? Should i wait on the side to try and get him back to fall in love with me ? I know i love him more than i used too and really want to win him over again to show him how much i care for him. I’m afraid to leave him as i know there wouldn’t be a chance then. But with the possibility of being there i might be able to show him i care and love him so much and do not want to get out of his sight again. Do you agree with me? What should i do? i’m really confused!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]could it be that i’m just thinking wrong and he just needs his space to figure out what he really wants because i hurt him?[/quote]

I think that that’s exactly what’s going on. But he’s also testing his other options at the same time. They’re not mutually exclusive.

[quote]Do i give him time by being there for him but give him some space? [/quote]

I think that it’s good that you’re aware that he’s probably playing the field, so you can not get too invested in this. As I suggested before, you should understand that dating is competitive, and if you want to compete, this is the moment to bring your A game! But you should also be self protective, and understand that because, at the five month mark, he’s looking elsewhere, this may not work out the way you hope.

[quote]We still sleep together and yesterday he told me that he is trying to solv these problem issues in our relationship to try and get it rekindled? Should i wait on the side to try and get him back to fall in love with me ?[/quote]

It sounds like you were arguing with him a lot, and he didn’t like that. You can work on that part of the relationship — and see if you are able to stop arguing with him, since it sounds like that was the big problem. I don’t know exactly what you argued about — it may be a deal breaker in the relationship, or it may be a chronic behavior. If it’s the former, this may be something you need to face, but if it’s the latter, you can work on your own behavior and try to modify it. If he sees that you’re changing, things may get better. So, this isn’t really something you can wait on him to decide — he needs to see a change in behavior.

[quote] I know i love him more than i used too and really want to win him over again to show him how much i care for him.[/quote]

Then you have to change your behavior and bring your A game. Did you buy the book and read it?

[quote] I’m afraid to leave him as i know there wouldn’t be a chance then. [/quote]

I’m not suggesting you leave him, but I do think you need to change your behavior, bring your A game, and understand where he is in the relationship.

[quote]But with the possibility of being there i might be able to show him i care and love him so much and do not want to get out of his sight again. Do you agree with me? What should i do?[/quote]

It’s not my place to agree with you — I can just point out where the problems are and try to help you understand them, as well as your options. It’s your choice to change your behavior or not.

[quote]i’m really confused![/quote]

You’re not confused. You’re disappointed that the relationship has taken a turn because the two of you argue so much. You have options, and you can use them, or do more of the same (or nothing), and see how things play out.

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[Spdbabe]

I offered to give him space on monday afternoon and should he decided to give it another chance i was willing too. Yesterday i asked him for the vacation money which i was meant to pay for – for his birthday and he took it really bad. I don’t know if i should wait for him to comeback or if he would even comeback. Right now i’m not texting him or calling him but i’m missing him deeply. 🙁

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If, on Monday, you say you’re going to give him space — and then on Tuesday you ask him for money — that’s not really giving him space. And since you told me that the two of you were arguing a lot, and he didn’t like it, asking him for money probably isn’t going to put a lid on the arguing. It’s the kind of thing that, given your circumstances, is going to get him steamed. And it did.

I think that you should move on and find someone else to date. 😉

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[Spdbabe]

I gave him his money back yesterday to show him my apology. I texted him saying i wish you’d realize now i love you and he didn’t text me back. i’m just gonna wait and try to move on now. I don’t think there’s much i can do. Is there?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think that moving on is your best best. 😉

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[Spdbabe]

Thanks april for you kind help really appreciate. I’m really trying hard to forget him. Thankyou ever so much 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome.

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[Ethan Morales]

This relationship isn’t failing because you’re “not good enough” or because you don’t love him enough. it’s failing because the dynamic has shifted from romance to power. In the beginning he was giving you attention, consistency, and affection. Now he has pulled back, set the rules, and expects you to accept whatever crumbs he offers. When a person moves from investing heavily to suddenly withdrawing, that’s not “needing space,” that’s losing interest or exploring other options. April is right: at five months, people are still playing the field and he clearly is. The WhatsApp chatting, the emotional priority he gives that female friend, and his refusal to communicate only with you are all signs he’s keeping doors open.

You’ve been trying to fix things by proving yourself, apologizing, giving money back, trying not to argue, trying to “show him you care” but notice something: the more you chase him, the colder he becomes. That’s because this is no longer about love; it has become about control and ego. He’s telling you he’s always right, refusing conversations, accusing you, and deciding when you’re allowed to talk. This isn’t partnership this is you walking on eggshells while he does whatever he wants. You cannot “win” a person back by shrinking yourself. That only teaches them that withdrawing gets them more power.

Now, about the other woman: I don’t think he’s cheating physically, but emotionally he’s already giving her a level of respect, priority, and loyalty that he’s not giving you. When a man says, “If she needs me, I’ll drop everything,” and he doesn’t say that about you, that is a major signal. And yes he probably met her or wanted to. You weren’t wrong. Trust your instincts. But here’s the part you need to really hear: even if he came back to you tomorrow, the relationship you want does not exist anymore. You’d be rebuilding on insecurity, fear, and anxiety and you’d always feel like you’re competing.

Stop trying to win him. He doesn’t deserve that version of you. The man you end up with should make you feel chosen, respected, and safe not confused, anxious, and desperate to prove yourself. Right now, the only path that preserves your dignity and gives you a real future is stepping back completely. Not as a test, not as a trick but because you deserve better treatment than this. If he ever truly wanted you, he would move toward you without you begging, proving, or chasing. And if he doesn’t? Then his absence is the best answer you’ll ever get.

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