[Anonymous]

Hi. Im donovan, recently me and my gf of 5 years split up. This is not the first time but it feels the worst. We have a 2 yr old beautiful girl together. Our relationship jus like most others. Good times bad times. Argueing here an there but always resolved good. She left me saying that she was tired of ne not caring for her and heling her with house chores. I unstand I should take my part in doing chores but I would always argue with her about not clean while I was at work. But she left to her parents (who hate me for no reason) and she called me crying 2 nights later saying she wanted to work it out and she would be back the next day. Well I was excited about ths of course. I thought I was getting my family back. Well the next day I call and she answer like she has a smirky attitude and she dnt say much. I didnt ask untill we hung up. I texted and asked “whats wrong” she text back saying only “im coming tonight to get my car” as she had left it there. But the worst thing about this text was on her signature it now read “chels&cory” im not cory. It hurt so bad. So now she is doing god knows what with this guy. But she came tht night to get her car with her parents. I didnt try and convince her this was wrong or anything I was just being polite and playing with my daughter before they left. I told her she look nice and thay I was ok with her doing this and tht I will be here if u need anything. Well she start crying as she was gettin a few of her cloths and she wouldnt stop. I ask her wat was wrong and she wuldnt say anyything. A gave her a hug and said I love u and she replyed saying she loves me to. She continued crying and I told her tht she did not have to leave and she could stay tht I wanted her. She said she loves me but she cant do it anymore. Im not sure what “it” is but she left crying and would not stay no matter what I said. I went back into my lonly house and started crying and weeping myself. I found a note she secretly left me tht said smething like. “im sorry it had to be like this. I do love you with all my heart but this is better for us and the baby. I love u. Your……” And thts it she left the last word your…. Like she was wanting me to wonder wat she meant by “your” what is tht? A trick or somethin? Your what? Your ex?your furture wife? I dont know and it hurts. We were fine not even a week before. Talkin about how she wanted to get married with our upcoming tax money. I love her more than anything and I want our family ro always be together. I hope its jus a phase. She is only 19 so maybe its because she is young but im n not much older “22”. But please give me your thoughts and anything tht can help. Basicly can I save this? And if so how? Thanks

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like she’s wanted to be married and you never asked her. She waited five years and you never popped the question. She is ashamed to tell you that that’s what she wanted because she doesn’t feel she should have had to tell you or ask.

If you want her back, my advice is to show up with a ring and go down on one knee.

Let me know how it goes — and please follow me @AskAprilcom (no dot) on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the reply. I have already tried that. She said she couldnt do it anymore and rejected it. But crying as she said no. I dont know. I want us to remain together as a family. But I dont know where to stary cuz im confused so much. And I have 1 quick question. Do you agree with advice that all these “get your ex back” ebooks are telling us. Like for example “the Ex2 system” and “the magic of making up”. I have not really found any reviews on there tactics and just wanting an experts opinion. Thanks. Great website

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It takes two people to make a relationship work, but only one to break it up. I know you want what you want, but you can’t make her want something she doesn’t. She sounds very confused and conflicted and the best thing you can do is to accept that she is moving on.

You can still have your family, but it’s going to be different than what you had hoped for: Work out a custody schedule with your ex and be a good father to your daughter. Right now, since you can’t have your girlfriend, focus on being a good father and take care of yourself for the sake of your daughter.

I’m sorry things aren’t going the way you had hoped, but I think that if you can make the best of the situation, you have a good chance at happiness and a new kind of family.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the support. But what is your opinion on the books I mentioned in my last reply? Thanks

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Sorry, I’m not familiar with them.

[Member]

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