[d3vils-advocate]

Ok so I’ve been seeing this girl for almost 2 months now. We are both 35 yrs old and are back into the dating game after being in previous relationships 6-8 months ago. We met on a well known dating site and everything seems to be going well. Our first 4 dates we met at a couple of parks and walked and talked getting to know each other. We met for dinner on our 5th date which I ended up moving in for a kiss. I think it was unexpected on her end because she seemed surprised, but she still kissed back (it was just a simple kiss was all). On our 6th date I cooked dinner at my home where she brought her dog and was here for about 3 hrs total before having to leave. Again, I kissed her which she was expecting this time (this time it was just a little longer … not a make out session or anything like that). Now we are having our 7th date tomorrow … dinner at my place which she suggested again. I figure she is some what into me seeming how she is still seeing me, but I have a few questions I need help with.

The whole dating scene is just so different to me and although I love the times we hang out I can’t help but want more. I know a lot of this comes from being older now and wanting to settle down and have kids before its too late … which she wants as well. And I know you don’t want to just jump into something … trust me I don’t want that either. However, I don’t want to ruin a good thing that’s going great so far. I want to feel closer to her and have a more romantic sensual experience with her, but yet I don’t want to go too far and scare her off. I think a lot of my feeling like this comes from something she said when we first met. She mentioned me and having patience. She said that the whole area of physical relationship isn’t easy for her at first and sometimes just takes time and right now I keep holding myself back because of that comment. Any suggestions for tomorrow’s dinner date? And yes … I am one of those “nice guys finish last” kinda guys. I’m a romantic at heart and I do believe good things are worth waiting for … but I also hope those good things see that I am waiting and wanting lol.

Thanks

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s the 6th date — you can definitely make a move on her that’s more than just a kiss. Making out is definitely in order. It’s fine for her to say she’d like patience, but it’s also fine for you to make your needs and intentions known. If you’re looking for permission to make a move, consider it granted. 😎

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[d3vils-advocate]

Ok so I posted something last week that you responded to that helped me out, but now I have a new problem. I’ve been talking to this girl for almost 2 months now after meeting her on a well known dating site. We are both in our mid 30’s and were in long relationships up to about 6-8 months ago. We both are looking for a marriage that will last and both want kids. We’ve been out 10 times now and things have been going pretty good. She’s an extremely busy women with a full time job and a part time job and she owns a dog and a horse which keeps her very busy. And i am completely fine with it, but hope that eventually she will want to become more serious and invite me into he4 life more so that we can spend some more time together since its very minimal right now. Because i really like her a lot. Anyways, we went out the other day to a haunted halloween park and had a pretty good time I thought. Although she was very tired and exhausted when we met after a long busy day that she’d had, which by the way kind of put a kink in my plans because I had planned to make a move and take the affectionate part to the next step. Which i did but i kept it a little more subtle than i originally had planned lol putting my arms around her, rubbing her shoulders while in line, and when she asked if i had any questions for her I asked if she was an affectionate person herself or if she prefers to let the guy make the first move. Anyways, I messaged her 2 days ago in the morning and she wasn’t able to respond back until late that night saying that she had a migraine. So I kept the conversation short since she wasn’t feeling good and went ahead and said goodnight so that she could go to back and get some rest. I messaged her yesterday morning saying good morning and hoping her migraine was gone, buy she never messaged me back at all yesterday nor has she messaged me today at all which I didn’t message her either since I messaged her last yesterday morning. What should I do? I don’t feel that I’ve been clingy at all because I’ve really made sure of that. I would really like to become more of a relationship at this point. but I’m confused a bit about not hearing back from her at all and we’ve been texting at least once a day sometimes more for about 3 weeks now. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks

Ok so now its been 6 days since the last date and 3 days since we’ve spoke now. I guess my thing is … at what point in this age of life (36) is it not only ok for a guy to ask about moving on to the next level, but yet not feeling guilty about possibly putting pressure on the girl and taking the chance of ruining something good? I guess on my end I feel after 2 months now id like to become more in a relationship status … but I cant seem to tell if she wants the same and after the past 3 days I’m starting to wondering if shes even interested anymore. Then again I feel I may be thinking too much into it. I dunno. Dating sux at this age lol. Its a lot of pressure when your “deadline” age for kids and hopefully a marriage first is coming up and you’ve met someone that feels the same, someone you really like and are falling for, but doesn’t seem to be as open about talking on the subject as much as you do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The big question here is: Why didn’t you make a move to kiss her and make out with her?

The answer to that question will help you.

It sounds like you’ve been on 10 dates in 2 months and haven’t made a substantial move. She probably thinks you’re not attracted to her, or not interested sexually in her, and in turn, she has lost interest. 😕 My advice last time was to make a move — making out with her is definitely in order at this point.

It seems that instead of actually doing it, you start intellectualizing and then theorizing about dating and how difficult it is. This isn’t that tricky! There’s no magic here. If you date a woman 10 times over 2 months, and you’re both in your mid-30s and are looking for long-term, monogamous relationships, you have to act like it. That means moving things forward. If you don’t, she’ll look for someone who will. Women want to know if you’re serious about them, and if you don’t make a move after 10 dates, they’re probably going to conclude you’re not. Instead of facing the reason why you won’t, you’re avoiding the subject by talking about dating theory. 😥 Even titling this piece, “Ladies, I need help!” indicates you’re looking for help from women — and I’m curious why you wouldn’t ask men for help on this one. I think the real reason you’re not asking for help from men is because they’d probably tell you to make a move, already! 😉

If you’re interested in reading [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women. It may help you — in fact, I’m sure it will. It’s down-loadable and only $8.99. Try it!

I hope that helps. 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts