[Deeteejersey]

Hie just wanted some advice
I’m dating a guy who is separated from his wife I am also separated from my husband
We love each other so I’d lie to believe and we are great friends we connect and it’s so real I love him.
We live same country but 5 hours drive 1 hour flight away and he has a really good job and basically
Can afford to visit etccc but has committments kids school fees and parents too look after that we hardly see each other
We talk everyday sometimes video chat but it’s setting less and less as time goes on and I feel like he’s going Cold on me
He makes no plans to meet up and because we are both separated it’s not a relationship that’s out there and no one knows of it yet for the reason that we are still both legally married to spouses and we hold strong religious values regards to that.
We last saw each other in May after I paid the flight as he was broke and before coming he mentioned he wanted to come over but not sleep with me as to see how strong we are without sex involved and I found it quite reasonable at the time and I never even thought he might actually not be into sleeping with me perhaps he just likes me as a friend
I have never doubted him till last week when he went to a friends n didn’t respond to texts till 24hours saying he was pissed off with me as the last message I sent him made it look like I was insecure.he also said his friend that he gone to visit was on his case all day hence he couldn’t send a text and his friend wouldn’t approve of this relationship as we both are still married. He always goes to his friends house but this time around I doubted he was actually there. And they say listen to your inner voice. I’m really struggling to make sense of it all. Basically I love him n I know he cares and loves me and we’ve known each other since I wss 8 and we know each other’s families but we were always friends but not lovers.
I’m just scared that he’s going to go cold and cold and I don’t think I’ll be able to deal with it. I’m very independent I don’t ask for money gifts or such like but every woman needs a man whose gonna treat her and apart from calling and texting do something more. I’m not after his money I genuinely love him and he feels like a soul mate but I feel like something is just not right somewhere.
He talks of his wife often and sometimes compares her to me how I moan like her in bed how I look like her how I’m insecure sumtimes like her this really annoys me n he has since stopped.
He calls n texts and initiates all that mostly but I need more than calls texts I miss him n I’d like to think he does too but I dnt want to be too full on demanding time and all that
He says my kids are noisy and we had planned to meet end of August at my parents house which is close to his house as he’s good friends with my parents though they obviously don’t know we are dating. But he says if ur kids are there they will be making noise and I’ll just need peace I’ll choose another weekend to visit your parents when your kids aren’t around. This hurt me so much and he apologised but he sed he’d rather tell me the truth but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.

I obviously don’t wanna loose him but I don’t want to pressure him either we are both separated and in state of confusion regarding our marriages I don’t want to add confusion . This started of a good romantic lovely dating but now I’m doubting him and I don’t want to have to but I don’t feel as though he even wants to spend time or see me

Please help me I love him so much and he’s by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me I love him so much

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s not that interested in you. 😕 I know you want him to be, but he isn’t.

My advice is that you focus on getting divorced so you can be truly single and then find someone who is compatible — in other words, also single, wanting to see you regularly, and who wants the same thing you do in life. 😉

If you date someone who’s in the process of getting divorced, there’s less chance that they’re ready for a committed relationship with you because they’re still in one with their spouse, and they’re probably getting over the marriage, and will be for some time. This doesn’t make the odds of things working out, high.

I hope that helps. If you have any more questions, please let me know.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts