[David]

Dear April,

I’m 18 and a male. A girl, Nicole, was my best friend for about a year. I used to love her very much (and she knew it), yet things didn’t work out and we stopped talking for 5 months. She once, whilst we were friends, admitted to liking me when she was drunk, but the next day she took it back and said it was a mistake. Her best friend, Ana, once told me that she thought Nicole liked me. Until we’d stopped talking, we’d never been out together, except for going to school.

So now I don’t love Nicole anymore, I’ve only got a faint crush on her. Yesterday we both went out to a night club and we were both quite drunk. One of her best friends (not Ana, by the way) was telling me to try to kiss Nicole because she thought I’d succeed. I attempted to, once, and was about to kiss her when a friend of hers pulled her away. During that moment she had her hands all over me. That was the only proper chance I got yesterday, but she stayed with me for a good 80% of the party and would pull me around, holding my hand. She even told the woman at the counter I was her boyfriend. But we didn’t kiss and, after having lost my great opportunity, I couldn’t let it go. Towards the end of the party, however, I had the impression she was trying to get away from me. I even heard her telling one of her friends (who was, I assume, telling her to kiss me): “But it’s David (me)!”. From this I insinuate that she was really confused and more inclined towards not kissing me.

And now I am really confused. The flame that was once lit for her inside of me is now starting to rekindle and I am worried that it might be doing so in vain. I do not plan on inviting her to go out, and any further attempt in the future will only occur at places similar to the one I went to last night (a night club). My question to you, April, is: What do you make of all of this? Do you think I’ll be able to succeed or should I give up? How should I deal with her (conversationally) during these days? I was thinking about maybe not trying anything the next time so that she starts wondering what is going on, then I’ll try again the following party.

I am well known for being a shy and anti-social person, although many girls think I’m quite good looking.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

From what you wrote it sounds like you’ve never once dated her. 😯 I’m not sure why there is so much drama around a woman you’ve never asked out on a date, and only tried to kiss when you were both drunk. 😕

If you like her and want to date her, ask her out on a date. But if you don’t ask her out on a date, and you don’t plan to, then why hang around her? It just doesn’t make any sense for you.

So figure out if you’re going to ask her out or not and then do it, or move on.

Pretty simple, I think! Hope you do, too.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter — and let me know what happens. 😀

[Anonymous]

Dear April,

We were best friends for a very long time and, to be honest, I am not confident enough to ask her out on a date.
I am, I believe, very inclined towArds hard analysis & so I will never ask her out without thinking that she is – to some degree – into me.
What I would like to know is if you think she might be interested in me. I’ve got a lot of questions bottled up inside of me & so your opinion would be deeply appreciated.

Thanks,
David

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let me try to spell it out for you: [i]You won’t know if she likes you enough to date you unless you ask her out. [/i]If you’re too afraid to ask her, you’ll never know, and you’re going to live a life of “hard analysis” ❓ ❓ and missed opportunities. 😳 Which is pretty sad, if you ask me!

Read the book I wrote for men who want to win with women, called Date Out of Your League. You can buy it here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. This book will help you a lot, and it’s going to be a good interim step for you since you seem to have confidence problems. You’ll learn from this book why confidence trumps looks when it comes to men and how building yours will help your future relationships! 😉

[Member]

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