[hershey1kiss2]

This girl I briefly saw but have known for 3 years got upset withht me 2 months after she ended things when she breached my privacy and went through my phone and saw I was talking to other women. I remained a supportive friend as she was dealing with some health issues. It has been 6 months since we have seen each other because of it but we have just been texting. Lately she has been sending mixed signals via text.

1). I told her I went to the movies and she asked me if I went with my gf. I don t have one but I felt it weird for her to assume that. 2) she asked me if I had a valentines this year. 3) I told her another night I was going mini golfing. She asked me if I was going with friends. I felt she was trying to figure out if I was going with another girl. 4) I mentioned I wanted to go hiking at this place she told me about before and she asked if i was going solo.

The last time we spoke she mentioned something about caring about me and it has been two weeks since we’ve talked. I’ve made a point to not text and pursue her since I’ve been looking at videos on how to get her back. But how come she seemingly has disappeared now? I also noticed a couple weeks ago she tweeted ” be with the person you are passionate about”.

I ended up texting yesterday and told her I missed her . she acted playfully surprised that I missed her by saying ” lil ole me?”. Then we just caught up a bit free she doesn’t seem to make an effort to initiate contact now.

[AskApril Masini]

She does still have feelings for you, but that doesn’t mean she wants to get back into a relationship. She may be lonely. She may want sex. She may feel competitive with you about getting back into the dating game. She may be nosy. Or she may be something else, or a combo of any of those things. It’s not abnormal for exes to be curious about each other.

If you want more clarity, drop the friendship — it’s not a real friendship anyway. If you stop pretending to be friends, your behaviors will be more clear, and if she contacts you it won’t be under the guise of friendship. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions. 🙂

[hershey1kiss2]

I’m really hoping she wants to give things a go

[AskApril Masini]

I know. 🙂

[hershey1kiss2]

Is there anything I can do to have her open up to me?

[AskApril Masini]

Fill me in a little. You said you’ve known her for 3 years, but were only dating her briefly. Can you define “briefly”? How long were you dating?

You said she got upset with you 2 months after the breakup when she went through your phone — but why did she break up with you prior to that?

Let me know, and I’ll try to answer your question for you. 🙂

[Sally]

From the outside, it sounds like she still cares about you, but not enough to actually move toward you. Asking who you’re with, checking if you’re solo, bringing up Valentine’s that’s curiosity and attachment. It’s not the same as wanting to rebuild something. People can miss you and still not want the relationship back.

The disappearing act after those moments is the key part. If she wanted more, she’d lean in, not fade out. The playful response when you said you missed her shows she liked hearing it, but she didn’t meet you there.

Right now, you’re doing more emotional reaching than she is. That’s your answer. Mixed signals usually mean mixed intentions. And that’s a tough place to stay too long.

[Tara]

She is not “sending mixed signals,” she is breadcrumbing you for validation while having zero intention of moving toward anything real. She invaded your privacy, judged you for behaving like a single man after she ended things, and you rewarded that by sticking around as her emotional support animal while she sorted out her life. That already destroyed the power balance.

Now she pokes around your dating life with fake-casual questions not because she wants you back, but because she wants reassurance that she still matters and still has access to you. Asking if you went with a girlfriend, a valentine, solo, or friends is not interest it’s surveillance without responsibility.

Her disappearing act isn’t mysterious. You stopped feeding her constant attention, so she pulled back to regain control. The tweet wasn’t for you specifically it was a generic quote she posted while living her life, and you’re treating it like a coded message because you’re emotionally invested and bored. Texting “I miss you” didn’t move anything forward because there is nothing to move forward. Her “lil ole me?” response was playful deflection, not affection, and the fact she doesn’t initiate contact tells you exactly where you stand: optional, convenient, and non-priority.

[Member]

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