[PrincessFAA]

My story is like a soap opera. A guy I met in high school. I will try to keep this short. We dated in 2003,found out he were living with another woman, so I ended it. We got back together in 2010 the year I lost my best friend in the same month whom also went to high school with us. He said he wanted to marry me and engage me, found out he lied to me and my family…he was married and seperated, that was a secret that came out. He told me he was getting a divorced and was seperated, but that same year he went back and forth between me and her. I went through and still going through so much stress,pain,hurt,and tears…In 2011 we started living together and I found out he was an alcoholic,and we had so many fights when he drinks, he verbally and emotionally abused me. He leaves me like every other week ,stay gone for days,and come back with sorry stories and “baby this,baby that”… He said this year he would change,ruin our new year he would rather go out and drink than bring in the new year with me. My family and I have been there for him andhelped him in many ways,I went to AA meetings with him, I have gotten him out of trouble with the law different times,I have invested so much into this relationship, my first time living away from home and engaged. We have had good monents,but the bad moments is heart breaking. He seem distant from me…I’m very affectionate and he isn’t as he say… I shower him with love and attention,I get less from him. I say and show I love him all the time. I’m always the one that has to say “I Love You” and he say it back,but when do he be the first to say it to me. I have tried over and over to make it work,put in 100%,but he always hurt me. This is real hard for me, when I find myself apart from him i’m missing him and wanting him, keep taking him back. Can’t go to family because they change their minds many times on what I should and shouldn’t do…all my friends I had in the past weren’t true friends so no one to go to, my only true friend from high school is dead. I have spoken to people and calld relationship advice hotlines, but who to trust to tell my business to and who really want to help me? Any advice is helpful.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This is very simple. He’s never going to treat you well. Ever. 😳

There’s some part of you that doesn’t want to be treated well. Until you heal YOURSELF, you’re going to keep putting yourself in situations that are painful.

You’ve mentioned everything he does wrong — I get it. He’s an alcoholic who lied to you when he was married, is selfish and doesn’t show you affection. 😕 Basically, he’s Mr. Wrong. But what about you?

The real question is: Why you won’t put yourself in a healthy situation? You have to answer that for yourself. If you decide you want to be in a healthy and happy relationship, then you have to break up with this guy and stop having any contact — because that’s the only way it will work for you, since you keep going back to him. Surround yourself with new people — because the ones you’re around now, aren’t helping you. You’re stuck, and have been for years.

You have a big task in front of you — but you CAN do it.

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[PrincessFAA]

Thanks April, I want to be treated well and treully wish things were different, but as you said he is never going to treat me well… I sent you a friend request on facebook,thanks so much for the advice, and I will work on meeting new people. I need a vacation to get away from everyone.

[quote=”April Masini”]This is very simple. He’s never going to treat you well. Ever. 😳

There’s some part of you that doesn’t want to be treated well. Until you heal YOURSELF, you’re going to keep putting yourself in situations that are painful.

You’ve mentioned everything he does wrong — I get it. He’s an alcoholic who lied to you when he was married, is selfish and doesn’t show you affection. 😕 Basically, he’s Mr. Wrong. But what about you?

The real question is: Why you won’t put yourself in a healthy situation? You have to answer that for yourself. If you decide you want to be in a healthy and happy relationship, then you have to break up with this guy and stop having any contact — because that’s the only way it will work for you, since you keep going back to him. Surround yourself with new people — because the ones you’re around now, aren’t helping you. You’re stuck, and have been for years.

You have a big task in front of you — but you CAN do it.

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].[/quote]

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome. 😀

[PrincessFAA]

Hello April, thanks for answering my question, Why do I find myself always dreaming of him when he is here and when he isn’t here.It’s like almost every night.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re trying to work something out in your subconscious, which is why you’re dreaming about him. Bring your subconscious to the forefront, and figure out why you keep putting yourself in harm’s way. This is a process, and as you leave him and move on, you’re going to take two steps forward and one step back sometimes, in order to figure out what it is about YOU that chooses the men you do. 😉

[PrincessFAA]

Thanks alot April for the helpful advice
😀
[quote=”April Masini”]You’re trying to work something out in your subconscious, which is why you’re dreaming about him. Bring your subconscious to the forefront, and figure out why you keep putting yourself in harm’s way. This is a process, and as you leave him and move on, you’re going to take two steps forward and one step back sometimes, in order to figure out what it is about YOU that chooses the men you do. 😉[/quote]

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. I wish you the best. 😀

[Member]

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