[ooconfusedoo]

ive always felt that i was never the number 1 woman. ive known my boyfriend for 10 years and we both went through relationships with other people. there have always been these 2 other women in his life that stuck out.Girl a) was a girl that he got pregnant real young, she was forced to abort and she moved out of state, he says she left me and he was always in contact with her. girl b) was in love with him and had gotten critically for him. he says that he treated her badly and realized he loved her but it was too late. i was always around but he never paid attention to me until girl a moved and when things were not great with girl b. So you see i always felt as if i were never a direct priority. so him and i start dating after 6 years of knowing each other. but he always hung pictures of those two women, secretly went through girl a’s myspace page at the time. Anyways i got pregnant and we moved in together. he wanted to name our unborn child after his aborted child with girl A. after our daughter was born girl b passed away and it was hard for him. to this day i feel like i was never his number 1 choice and that we are just together for our child and tonight i finally asked him about what really happened with both relationships and he said A”moved away from me” and b “I fell in love with her but it was too late” then i told him what i had been feeling for years and his expression was that of shock. he asked how can i prove it then for a few moments talked then walkedout of the room. what would you do? i am in need of advice,

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t know how old any of you are, but whenever two adults get together, they bring baggage to the table. Your job, when dating, is to decide whether or not your baggage and his baggage make a set of matching luggage! 😆 If they do, then you proceed with the relationship. If they don’t, then you move on and find someone who’s a better match for you.

Clearly you knew about these two other women and decided you still wanted to be with him, so it’s important for you to acknowledge your responsibility in this choice.

You’ve been together for four years and have a child together. (I really hope you did not agree to name your child after the one his ex-girlfriend aborted. 😕 ) It’s time for you to stop making problems where they don’t exist. He’s chosen to be with [b]you[/b] 😀 and because you have a child together, rather than focusing on his feelings for lost loves, why not focus on what you have instead, and make a joyful history together by making each day you have together productive, happy and good? 😉

My instinct is that you’re feeling like you’re in an emotional rut so you’re looking for problems instead of solutions. Whenever a couple finds that their relationship is flailing, it’s time for a tune up! Consider reigniting the romance and passion you once had. My guess is that when you put some positive energy back into your relationship with your boyfriend, you’ll feel a lot better about him, the relationship — and yourself!

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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