[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my long distance boyfriend for a year and he has an extreme fear of traveling. I wasn’t aware of how bad it was when i entered into the relationship but once i realized i was too invested to just give up ( were also both 22 so I didn’t feel the need to rush it). If there is an exact root to the problem he doesn’t know what it is but the entire duration hes not home hes anxious and wants to leave. If he spends the night he usually has panic attacks. Hes also pretty unwilling to think about ever moving from his hometown or even living together before were married. I feel like we’ll never be able to learn to really be together as a full time couple and hes nervous about ever moving out of his current home. He has absolutely no problem staying faithful and committed to me but nevertheless our current circumstances don’t bode well for our future. I was wondering if there’s something else I could be doing to help make traveling easier for him. He’s been to a therapist about it before and doesn’t think it helped and doesn’t want to repeat the experience. I feel pretty dead ended at this point, any advice would be helpful.

[Anonymous]

is it possible to go to him or is that too much of a hassle?

[Anonymous]

He recently moved back w/ his parents to minimize debt for his last year in college. So his house isnt really a viable option.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ve hit a deal breaker. If your long distance boyfriend won’t get help to treat what is probably some sort of agoraphobia, then there is no future. The fact that he’s retreated into his parents home is not a good sign. I know you’re invested emotionally, but sometimes you have to cut off a bad investment before you sink even more time and energy into a relationship that is not going to work out. 😳

If he wants to get help, it’s there for him, but it sounds like he’s not willing to do the work to overcome this problem, so it’s time for you to find someone to date who will actually GO on the dates!

I hope this helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook: [url][/url].

[Member]

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