[Anonymous]

I have been dating a guy for almost a year and I brought him home to meet my brother. Turns out they look a lot alike and I never realized it until they were side by side. I feel sick about it and grossed out. Am I messed up for dating someone who looks like family? How can I get over seeing my brother in him so I don’t feel disgusted about being attracted to him?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re not dating your brother! You’re dating someone who [i]resembles[/i] your brother. [b]Giant[/b] difference!

Lots of time people who have dated for a while, or who are married for a while begin to resemble each other. Many men find that either consciously or unconsciously they choose wives who resemble their own mothers. Women do the same thing with their husbands and fathers.

In fact, it’s very normal for people to want to be with a boyfriend or girlfriend who “fits in” with their family — whether it’s religious, ethnic, racial, social or intellectual similarities. So, it’s not a surprise that your boyfriend looks like your brother.

So, since you suddenly realized that your boyfriend resembles your brother, I’d cut yourself a break if I were you. Your boyfriend and your brother are two entirely different people. Resemblances happen and are normal, but your boyfriend is your boyfriend.

Enjoy your boyfriend. He’s a unique individual — and he’s yours! 🙂

[Alison Feby]

It’s just a resemblance—he’s his own person. Focusing on who he actually is helps separate him from your brother in your mind.

[Nick Roy]

Don’t be nervous, this is normal. According to psychology, we are often attracted to people who resemble our family members because they make us feel comfortable and safe.
And it’s important to remember that your brother and your boyfriend are two different people.
You should pay attention to the things about your boyfriend that make him different from your brother. Then, the way of talking, his priorities, his scent, and the feelings he has for you.
Or give it some time; these gross feelings will go away when you focus on his Unique personality.

[Member]

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